Say it – No…mean it

Disappointed Love, 1821. Oil on panel, 24 3/4 x 32 in. (62.8 x 81.2 cm). Inv.: FA.65[O].

You say the words

I want to hear

But your actions tell me

loud and clear

that you don’t even

want me here

© Kait King, 2015

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30 thoughts on “Say it – No…mean it

        • I have a son who is 26 and until two years ago was that typical useless drifter with no actual “essence” if you like – a loser, a dope smoker and drinker – a million jobs, no direction etc – but at the end of his 24th year and into the 25th he kind of woke up – I don’t know how or why, although plenty of other mums have told me that they change at 25 and realise a whole lot of stuff that is going on. Now my son is an amazing young man, I’m so proud of him, of his convictions, dedication and stickability to things – never EvEr would I have said that before. Sometimes I wonder if aliens came down and swopped him out 🙂 I know it’s hard and I am a single parent, but hang in there (as you would anyway!) and he will come right – the fact that he has scary friends that wish you harm is very concerning. The one thing I did do which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done is left him to it – kicked him out, told him to get a job, told him no more cash from me – and it was soooo hard! I felt like I was abandoning my “child” (at twenty-bloody-four!) And I was terrified something would happen to him and my last words were not “I love you” ….it’s that letting him go which created a catalyst for change. It was only 6 weeks that we didn’t speak and I felt like it was 600 years but it worked. That’s just my story and you may be in a completely different place – but know that you are not alone!! 🙂 x sorry for the garble!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thank you for sharing your story, and I I am sorry you went through that. I swear kids these days just don’t get it sometimes, life and love and family. It’s been almost 6 years since my son and I had a real relationship, most of those years I was in severe pain over the loss. i have only recently started healing and moving on, all the while knowing i will always be here for my son; I just won’t let him have power over me anymore, I won’t let him tear my heart apart anymore.

            Thank you so much for you response. It is much appreciated and it always feels comforting to know I am not alone. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • My pleasure and I wish you weren’t going through this either! I just think it is how kids are for a while – but hopefully it changes and they grow up! But good on you for taking a stance and that is exactly what you need to do – he will respect you and yours eventually – unfortunately it takes years – and I think longer for boys than girls. If you ever want to chat in private my email is available under contact me :). I know they put you through hell, and I thought to myself “where did I go wrong? What haven’t I done correctly?” And I blamed myself for a long time and tore my hair out – but y’know what? They come around – just keep doing what you’re doing and he will wake up – it isn’t our failure, it’s just them testing everything, including boundaries, until they realise swimming with all of the salmon is a lot easier than swimming against all of them! (In other words conforming to natural mores and values that you have already taught him that are waaaaaaayyy at the back of his brain waiting for their time to come forward and make him a good man!) Give him time and distance, it’s like they need an epiphany or tragedy to wake them up into adulthood! Hang in there 🙂 and here if you need someone outside of the realm to yak or complain to – I really don’t mind 🙂 and, take care of you!

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