Cheater

Cheaters

In a bigamist dual

you fight in your cheating bed

Secret office glances

and secret bathroom head

At home it’s just too boring

you don’t want to fuck your wife

but if she finds out

It will ruin your life

© Kait King, 2015

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55 thoughts on “Cheater

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      • Very much so – I see that alot in the justice system as well as with domestic violence etc, it is very sad…I think people need to value themselves more.

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      • I think she means that people lie, they trick you into thinking you have been forgiven, yet they will hold it against you and bring it up time and time again – even though they say they have forgiven you – they haven’t – they just want you to hurt a little more. Some people do go back or even stay out of spite.

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      • I agree with that, I was agreeing with her….but added to her comment. But thanks for the breakdown. I am saying that it is wrong for people to do that, but based on your last comment, it isn’t wrong because no one should generalize. But it is wrong to be spiteful

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      • That depends on how you wish to perceive that comment – generalising and being spiteful have two different intents but are both harmful. I was taught (but only my life experience) to not talk as “we” but to talk as yourself – generalising just puts people’s backs up as they know you haven’t walked in their shoes. I like your sentiment – I wish more people felt like that – but the reality is that they don’t. Reality is that people pretend that they are like that – they go to church every sunday and walk around with a bible under their arm but just so happens to be a paedophile! (That’s a fact – but I would be generalising if I said everyone who goes to church…) 😉

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      • Generalizing like anything else can be harmful when used in the wrong contexts. But, in the context I used it….I am right in most cases. Then, you just said people and used in reality…. I don’t exist because a lot people don’t honor their word. I am reality as well….you just generalized, based on your experiences after you told me not to. The difference is I agree with you, a lot of people don’t honor their word, that’s why I am a leader to educate people about being more forthcoming. I am that man….

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      • Yeah – I don’t think you are getting the point but ok – I don’t believe any generalisation was used as I said” I wished more people existed like that” (with the right intent) but they don’t – which is true, the majority of men used to be accused of all the cheating, if you do any research, it is now proven that women who cheat, are just as deceitful if not more so, at cheating as men, and there is so much promiscuity, broken relationships and lost kids that it’s not hard to see that the majority of the world is suffering. Generalising indicates 100% of something, using words like “I am right in most cases” maybe could be construed as not only a generalisation, but purely based on your perspective of what is right and wrong and extremely arrogant and possible ignorant. It is the use of these kinds of words that show ego and arrogance that put women off….and make it look like you may be perpetuating the ‘controlling man’ syndrome – just a heads up…

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      • I am only able to make that assessment purely on your written word and the response you have had from two of us (as women) in this discussion. It’s only a generalisation if I am encompassing 100% of that group – ie) all serial killers are psychopaths but not all psychopaths are killers…I don’t make a choice to not “come off” as arrogant (don’t particularly like your implication there to be honest!) I am a confident, independent, self-supportive, educated woman who is over listening to a rather narrow opinion of a small world view – Personally I just think you are able to get more bees with honey than vinegar. If you wish to share a message then surely you would wish it to reach everybody and not make people feel they would rather not listen to your perspective? And if it “comes off” as arrogant or ignorant then isn’t it?

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      • I agree, I challenge women to leave bad situations all the time, but they tell me, I don’t understand, and Love sticks around, and every man cheats….I tell them I do understand because I am not in the emotion of it, I am thinking clearly. I tell them Love isn’t staying with someone that hurt or betrays us, it’s putting ourselves in the presence of people that will die before they hurt or betray us. And every man doesn’t cheat, just like every woman is irrational. If they set the standard a man will have to think twice. But staying in counterproductive….

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      • Then perhaps you are surrounding yourself with needy, desperate women with low self-esteem who don’t leave? I am not sure this is a positive for you, to be honest! You can set the standard as high as you like – to find someone who meets it is very hard to find. That is why I married once, years ago, had one child, who is now 25 yrs old and have never met anyone who could meet those standards. I made a mistake…once. My father set high standards and was a loyal, honourable man and I expect that – but it is not at every bus stop or floating by like every fish in the sea – as the story goes….yeah right!

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      • I am surrounded by needy, desperate, low self-esteem women, but I haven’t surrounded myself with them. I have strong women in my circle, but they know they are the norm. What makes a human fact? 85% accuracy. How many women leave? Think about what I am saying, stop personalizing.

        I set standards that are realistic for one to meet, because that is all I am searching for. I want my wife and I, to be the example of a healthy relationship. So, you may make a few more mistakes until you find that one. Isn’t it worth it???? Don’t you own yourself that????

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      • I am not sure what your point is – I have put my heart out there many times but no one has ever been honourable enough. Those words, old forgotten words like devotion, honour, loyalty are values that need to be brought back. I am surrounded by strong men and women, single dads and mums who take pride in not staying trapped in a needy relationship – including myself. What has become very clear to me in my journey of life though, is it is not easy finding that perfect person and you had better be in love with them because that is why you tolerate some of the crap they dish out and vice-versa! Sometimes if you do get hurt enough it doesn’t become worth it, sometimes all you want is harmony. I’m guessing you are just a young buck and life will shape you as you move through it too – that’s the beauty of life, if we listen, we can hear ourselves grow…;)

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      • You must not forgive to go back.
        I think it is necessary for any chance of happiness, but many people reconcile without truly forgiving,
        Then there is no trust in the relationship…which can lead to hostility, accusations, snooping, guilt trips, and resentment.

        This is common, you’re right.
        Not because it’s a script but because staying can be easier than walking away.

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      • Which makes it a script, a pattern, a cycle….we need to break it by educating people about what true Love is. It isn’t an emotion. It’s a lifestyle….dedication, honesty, devotion, and like mindedness

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      • A lifestyle? I am a little bit over this now – no offence but good grief, I feel like I might get a glossy magazine in the mail to learn how to be a decent human. Anyway, I am not saying what you are saying is wrong, I just think that maybe you are not going the right way about it. You don’t have all the answers, no body does but discussion is key to moving forward. It’s many of our children that need values instilled in them – at school – many parents are failing unfortunately, as society has failed them, but if we can instill strong values into our young kids then maybe in 20 to 50 years they will learn to instil decent values in their children and the pendulum can swing in some other way – but there is no quick fix, group hypnotic mindset thing you are going to magically make people change overnight, it will take generations, just as it has to corrupt society.

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      • Wow – this is the charming, kind, dignified gentleman you purport to be?….nice! I don’t believe I have called you any names, I have not generalised and I have praised you on comments or positions I believe are valid. I also notice you are merely turning my argument into your own… On that note – I wish you a shit-load of luck on your life journey 🙂 Blessings to you and yours.

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      • But you do recognise that this is ONLY your life experience – so therefore you cannot speak for everybody. And one should avoid generalising if possible. I think if we did have scripts it would be very boring and we would all know what to do – but we don’t…we think we do, but life is unpredictable which is why we have emotions like surprise and shock, joy, love – if we knew all about it we wouldn’t react or respond or seek anything – we wish to fulfil our soul’s experience and have all of those emotions/experiences/life in general.

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      • Thou shall not kill, thou shall not commit adultery, thou shall not make generalizations is now a commandment. We should always be confident and speak in absolutes. How can you trust a person that doesn’t know? I will marry you and honor you for life, I will be home for dinner, I will never lie to you….all absolutes. Yet, you are telling me not to use my experiences to view the world. I trust the certainty in my wisdom….did I say all women or women that fit the situation you described. Let’s be clear, I said I sent the script, not that we should live by a script. Part two, we need order, something people can strive for….so, just because you are talking gray, doesn’t change the truth of black and white. I don’t know aboyou, butbut I want to be around people who honor their words; which is a script.

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      • It isn’t a script, regardless of any religious view, it should be a human value – not a script, an innateness in humans to be honest – you are one person among millions who do not act the way they speak – they talk a talk but can’t walk that walk

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      • And I would never think to clump everybody into a generalised group to say that not generalising should be a commandment – that is just being ridiculous – but back to logic – How can you speak in absolutes if you don’t know the absolute truth? One may believe what they want – that is one’s choice – but the truth may be quite different from another’s experience/perspective. You can only view the world from your perspective – but the worst thing one can do is view everybody’s world from only your perspective – that is ethnocentric. People should strive for what is right – not what they have been threatened, feared, scared or manipulated with – do it because it is right and fair – not for fight and fear.

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      • “People should strive for what is right – not what they have been threatened, feared, scared or manipulated with – do it because it is right and fair – not for fight and fear.”

        ABSOLUTELY! Also, shouldn’t we be very careful not to threaten, fear, manipulate, OR SHAME, people for making mistakes?

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      • That’s sad you believe that….people can honor their word. Honesty is a virtual that some people honor. You just said SHOULD be a human value….think about that. What our leader, but one that millions follow? Are you looking around you? Everyone is not equal to make decisions because of lack of knowledge and impulse control….so, me being one in a million doesn’t mean I am not wisdom enough to enhance the standard of living.

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      • Of course – and that is exactly NOT what I’m saying – I don’t know where you live but take a look around you….with real eyes, there is grief, poverty, death, lies, destruction, war, cruelty, starvation, abuse – everywhere, no colour, creed, religion, race, hair colour – NOTHING – is left unscathed by human nature. We are a greedy, consuming, more worried about money than values ( honesty is a value and a virtue – I believe you have called it a virtual which indicates it really doesn’t exist – and I think you’ve argued yourself into a corner with your spello – sorry! 🙂 Keep up the ideology tho – like I say it’s a nice sentiment – good does exist but it needs to be all consuming to make the world and people a better place, and it’s not – but please keep up the crusade, we need everyone we can get…

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      • You are right, I misspelled virtue, but that is what I meant….”real eyes”, when I was saying the woman would go back that, that wasn’t real eyes???? Real eyes, see good deeds, great educators, great parents, great men and women, people dying for causes, people feeding and clothing others. Both what you wrote and I wrote are realities. You are looking through a pessimistic lens and me an optimistic one. But they are both realities. There are liars, just like there are honest people. You see the worst in people to protect yourself and I see killers as killers but saints as saints. I am an idealist, but I also a realist.

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      • Absolutely – as an idealist I think it may be tricky to be a realist too? An ideal is something you know would be perfect but will never happen, a realist just knows it will never happen – I like to think that it might happen, but most probably not in my lifetime – at least not this one around…It needs to be a balanced perspective either way you cut it

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      • It’s too late – I have always believed we are here to help, particularly if you are one who is able too. I went to university in 2008 and completed a criminology degree as I wanted to help the vulnerable populations – children, animals, handicapped, elderly – I have always had a purpose and have been involved up to my eyeballs with domestic violence, suicide, abuse – anything and everything you can think of in between. I have had huge tragedy and great joy in my life – I have lived, loved and lost and will keep doing this until I die I guess! Just never stop being true to your integrity 🙂

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      • I do not see the positive in perpetuating the idea of a script for others. You are not the director of anyone but yourself.

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      • Script, just means it has been written so many times, not that it should be the way it is. But how do you know I am not an educator of women? Don’t tell me what I am not, find out who I am

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      • What I said is that you are not the director. You may very well be the best educator in the world and you still can not control the actions of others.

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