In spite of

inspiteof

I don’t believe you have nothing to say

that you don’t want to stand up

and shout

“don’t treat me that way”

I don’t believe you can keep quiet

for very much longer

the hate in you grows stronger

even though you deny it

it kills you every day

I don’t believe there is happiness in you

that you skip through every day

that your glasses are a rose-colored hue

that you are not reliant in almost every way

but that’s just not true

You drag yourself through every day

knowing that he will

punch you

humiliate you

control you

and you want to kill him

for killing you –

you try to think of another way

but nothing else will do

you have no money, no car or hope

this mean,

ugly-spirited human

says you can’t cope

in the real world

But you know that’s not true –

right?

© Kait King, 2015

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21 thoughts on “In spite of

  1. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

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  2. Wow Kait. This one cuts deep. This is exactly what I’ve been trying to get my hands around. I’ve filed it as “oiled pig”. I just can’t come to figure out how or why it went the way it did, except it did. It’s done. Why I keep letting it creep in and eat me up, though… I’ve been letting it drive me mad. It’s as if the very poison of my marriage can’t get expelled. Yet, I know it’s done. 2 years I’ve let it eat me up, and that’s only since the separation. The fight. I’m thrilled to say I feel the chasm widening though. I feel less consumed. Devoured. Pained. Eyes and heart on my greatest gifts. The jewels of our marriage, toxic though it was. 2 years is so long to deny myself healing, but it feels so good to start.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Sometimes we need to have that denial… Perhaps that is just part of the healing? Like the madness, the poison and toxicity you recognize… If you can see it you can choose to do something about it ☺ I think it’s all part of the process and gets imprinted on your brain so that you definitely know what you don’t want!! 😊 Love n light xoxo

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  3. Well written piece, but it’s not only women who suffer at the hands of a violent partner. I know I’ve been there, when a woman instigates the abuse it’s usually mental rather than physical but abuse is abuse.

    Liked by 2 people

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