Being the Ogre

being the_Ogre

You promise you’ll be home tonight

to kiss the kids and hold me tight

You tell me it won’t be the same

until it happens once again

You say I am the only one

and what’s been done can’t be undone

I stay quietly alone all through the day

watching our kids grow and play

and when the door opens later at night

they think you’re home, that they are all right

But bedtime comes and they can’t wait up

I am the ogre who’s taken their pup

Little do they know you don’t give a damn

Fathers’ like you shouldn’t be called men

© Kait King, 2015

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45 thoughts on “Being the Ogre

  1. This hits a bit close to home right now. I feel like battle of the sexes in my house anymore, and it’s driving me berserk. I know being a single mom is a challenge, but lately, I feel like the world’s biggest loser. Not for lack of effort, but just… lack of respect? I’m not sure. Sorry, I’m whining 🙂 I love this poem so much. I love everything you have written. I genuinely aspire to be like you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, that is so lovely 😊 Being a single mom is just another life path. The beauty is, you are getting to choose. Others are not so lucky. I knew I would be a better mother on my own and I was right. Feeling like you are going crazy and frustrated and angry all the time is so unhealthy for you and your kids. Your body language will give it away when he comes home, kids notice this stuff. This may not be the right thing for you as I know very little of your relationship. My main focus is the little people in your life. Think what is best for them. A happy, free single mom or an angry discontent mom, trapped. That was what made my decision easier. What sort of mom did I want to be? Sorry for rambling! I wish you strength, clarity and only the very best. I don’t envy you your position!! Take care xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh Kait, thank you. My path is one I have refused to accept for two years. My husband and I fought violently in front of our children. I’ve poisoned him, myself, and them with my guilt and inability to let go. I saw it again just today. My oldest gets so angry with me – every time I say no more TV, video games, etc. Our anger was like poison. I allowed it to drive me crazy – literally. I pushed myself to extremes to escape it, blamed him or me for everything, and hated everything. I still slip back into this old…Stepford Wife existence. When I do, the kids suffer greatly. However, if I allow myself to be perpetually consumed by the guilt and anxiety of all the yesterdays, we all suffer more. I keep convincing myself if I could fix my marriage, I could make them happy, but this week especially, it feels as if the very universe is screaming at me to wake up and realize that I am worthy of love, because that lack hurts me and hurts them. They are my sun, moon, and stars. They were every reason I had to save my life, and they are always my compass. When I hurt myself, hurt their father, I hurt them. They adore me, and I adore them, but I tend to steal that happiness and peace from us, because I feel unworthy. It’s almost like slipping on old masks, because my new self feels wrong, even though it’s free. Even though it’s not what they want. Thank you Kait. I feel your words so deeply, it’s as if you have walked my very path exactly.

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      • I can tell you know what to do, you’ll be OK, I promise. In fact you’ll be way better than OK. Now you just have to make a plan and keep your eye on the prize – being the best you can be for your kids. We live for them and we’d die for them. All strength and power to you girl! ☺xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

    • I think it has a lot to do with social stigmas and human nature. Are we supposed to be monogamous? Are men really wired to have to plant their seeds everywhere? I guess a million influences… Great question! Why do you think this happens?

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  2. Pingback: Being the Ogre — The writer’s blogk | The Place

  3. my mother had many men…none were my father…when I turned 18 he popped into my life and implied he was perfect and my mother was crazy…ummm…he was 20yr older than she and lured her away from home…needless to say neither are in my life…he’s dead…no clue about my mother; she disowned me at age 14…

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  4. When I was young, this was how it was. I only knew 2 men that were Real, Good Men, although I am not saying there weren’t more, I just didn’t know for sure. But I knew for sure there were a whole lot of pieces of crap.
    That goes both ways now Kait, in fact I was near filing suit against the state for being so biased against men in the early 90’s. All over some haters that possibly a dead-beat dad didn’t pay his support on time, but they included me in their conversation, and I told them how it really was, “There is no woman that knows boys better than me, and there sure isn’t a woman that is a better parent than me”. Kait I had them 4 boys right there with me, and I was having hell being a mother and father.
    Oh , my haters surely didn’t like it when I said my child support is never late…. because she knows I will file on her,
    The truth is, there are very few good parents now, with an equal number on both sides. I would say maybe 25%, and you????
    Keep writing Kait,
    Robert

    Liked by 4 people

    • I so wish we were wrong Robert, but I think that even 25% may be generous…! My son and I never received a red cent from his father. That was ok though, I had no obligations and he was a totally absent father. He travelled around the world and lived in hotels while Jay and I battled on our own. He doesn’t know his birthday, his favourite colour, or ice-cream or anything. It’s really impossible to be a mum and a dad, but like you I did my best and I love my boy with all my heart and I know he loves his mum with all of his :). Being a parent is being a guide, we don’t own these souls, we are here to show them the right way and to help them find that way too – with patience, love, kindness but most of all understanding and logic!

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      • You are one in a Million Kait, you make my heart hurt sometimes.
        I have a Friend that is head of Government Security in some way, but once when I first met him he was building a shed, and his son was helping him. After a bit he said “You really know a lot about these”, and I said Well I didn’t know about the real strong door until my 2nd or 3rd. He asked, how did you figure it out? That’s when I smiled and said These things just hold so many good memories, then you know it’s time to build another. But to answer your question, you need a strong door, because some memories you don’t want out unless you go looking for them.
        Robert

        Liked by 3 people

      • That is sooooo very true! Titanium or carbon fiber might just do the trick or perhaps a carbon fibre base, coated in titanium with a rock centre. I can imagine that door fitting in perfectly, 🙂 thanks Robert!

        Liked by 2 people

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