Only Sometimes…

/ Kait King

onlysumtimes

Sometimes I pull my jersey up over my head

or just want to stay curled up in my too big bed

I just want and wish everything to go away

I feel numb, time is timeless and I don’t know what to say

Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m only ten

and I’m playing hide ‘n’ seek

again

Sometimes I want to curl into

a ball

and say good bye

to it all

Sometimes I don’t know if I have the energy to breathe

let alone anything else life has up it’s sleeve

Sometimes I wonder what a life would be like

if I could be set free without string and fly like a kite

Sometimes I doubt what lies in front of me

I try not too look too far ahead

as I might not like

what I see

© Kait King, 2015

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52 thoughts on “Only Sometimes…”

  5. My dearest sister, you know if you ever need me then I’m there for you. I hate to see you suffer so when you can reach out to me any time you want to. Love you too much to leave you suffering. I am a fine one to talk I know since I also bury my head in my blanket when I suffer too much to rise and shine isn’t an option. But I know you are there for me if I can reach out, I’m there for you too so let’s not smoulder in the darkness alone anymore let’s promise to reach out when we start to need each other.
    In the meantime, please stay strong and keep writing since you reach so many people with the words you put down in your blog and your books. Love you so much my sister from another mister.

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  9. We all must doubt from time to time
    Yet “wonder” fits perfect within the rhyme
    Live in the moment and spread your wings
    Fly like the sparrow… for a kite… has strings

    May your day be filled with many beautiful moments…
    With… or without your jersey over your head

    Michael

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    • It is, and a constant push in yourself you have to find – it’s easy to go to that “poor me” zone – it’s a lot harder to see the crap going down and say ” lucky me” But the truth is – we are lucky – things can aLwAyS be worse. It gets overwhelming and I only sometimes feel like hiding….only sometimes! 😉 thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂 I really appreciate it!

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  15. Sometimes, isn’t enough to hide. Open up, share every thought. When you hurt, talk until the hurt subsides. When your lonely, reach out to someone. When you feel the walls closing in, expand yourself so you don’t get crushed. None of us can do it only….

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    • If only I was so brave more often and not just sometimes! Your words are so true, but as a cave bear I hate for anyone to know I am not a happy chappy – I always have been the fit and healthy “doer” and due to unforeseen circumstances my life has become something I don’t want to share…sometimes even with myself, but that’s reality 🙂 I’m a fighter, I’m just tired 🙂 Beautiful words though, thank you – it’s been a blessing finding the courage to share on this platform, cathartic, inspirational and motivating – because of awesome people like yourself 🙂

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      • We create happiness. Bad days are based on a mentality, but so are good days. The best of us is something the world needs to know all the time. I know we are fearful of judgment but embrace it. If you’re not “Happy Chappy”, let someone know. If you truly have friendships, they will work with you until your smile is genuine. Nobody wants to let people in, that takes courage. Be courageous. Why don’t you want to share your life with yourself and others? You know if you do it alone, you will be tired but if you let people in, you will have a strong chance at fighting. I glad, that I can add to your blogging experience, but I hope I can help you with your life experiences. Remember, faking life isn’t living, living is be vulnerable and letting Love in. Risk everything….

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      • I would say, the more you get in the teeth. The more you learn to show them to the right people….Learn, don’t close up. Open up, just to the right people. Trust yourself to pick those people.

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      • I guess everybody has a different story – mine has been a painful and tumultuous one! I agree with what you are saying except for the fact that life takes its toll on everyone and what you learn to do, at least for me, is survive. It is not possible to maintain a delighted attitude to life when it has no delights in it for you….I am not saying this is so for me, I still laugh, I still love and I write about my hurt and my joy…that’s my courage right now, besides the fact that I have been butchered by surgeons and just about have a zero life but for writing…and I value my life, I’m angry though, that outside influences took away my purpose – I am much less able than I was two years ago…by about 80%. But I valued what little life I have left…. I do…I’m still here…:) And I used to be just like you, I hope you get to keep what you have for as long as you possibly can. It’s a beautiful concept, a wonderful idea but a utopian ideology that is not possible for all…but I thank you for your words and they are truth for as long as you can hold that close…

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      • I know my mentality works for all! I grew up in the roughest of environments. I have done thing, which I thought were surviving. I hurt people for hurting me, I fought with my fist because I didn’t believe in words. I believed it was life, but I was just a product of my surroundings. I have been shot at, fought knifes from people; dated women, whom break my heart, and neared death. When you value life, you don’t just survive; you live. I sit and speal to drug dealers with your same mentality, killers with your same mentality; survival. Personal gain, but we are a collection. Humans, one, together. Pain is a reality, like happiness is. None are just ideal, both are factors. I Live the life I speak about. I changed my surrounding by taking control of who enters my life. My pain shrunk and my happiness grew. I am not selling you a dream, it’s a mentality. It’s believing in a daily greatness, putting in the work to fight negativity. Death is the biggest stress, but if only you can celebrate a life over mourning it, death will have a different meaning. A mentality will change your life, if you put in the work. It’s like saying education is just for a few, it’s for everybody, people just choose to remain ignore. Why? Because we aren’t accountable for what we don’t know.

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      • I have been hurt because I give, don’t fight with knives or anything like that -bad people have seen me coming with Take Advantage highlighted above me. I’ve been hurt and never retaliate – if you have a read of a little more of what I write and who I am you may figure out I’m more like you than you think as far as a better life, being kind, sharing etc – in spite of the fact that I have been through hell and back. I don’t know your story – what I do know is that your words are positive which is great. I don’t speak from a place of authority or judgement but from my own experience in life and with the police/gangs/youth/drugs etc experience I have and what I know is this – nobody can assume they know anything about anyone, sometimes even when they know them well…

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      • I Love Judgment. I want to be judged for the things, i say and do. I want people around me, whom are confident in what they will get from me. Leaders are always being taking advantage of, people believe they work for them. When we make the choice to be givers, it’s up to us to be in relationships were people aren’t only taking. I have been taken advantage of a lot. But I don’t see me given, as a weakness, i see them taking advantage, as one. I don’t like weak people, so I move on. We are part to blame for staying longer than we should. When we do, our sweetness tends to sour and we become bitter. So, don’t allow cruel and selfish people to change your view on a world, which isn’t one thing or another. You can create the life you want.

        And yes, I have read other pieces you wrote and they come from I Love positive place. Embrace your words, see the reality of those pieces. Yes, keep writing the piece that sadness you because writing is therapy. But live your more positive work. I am glad to hear you didn’t allow surgery to stop you from writing and enjoying this craft.
        Keep in mind, I believe in togetherness and wrong is wrong, and education will be able to correct what’s wrong. So, if we keep justifying “each being there own”, how can we assist people in growth. We most call people out, to ensure a better existence.

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      • I agree and thank you for your words – I do expect people to be accountable and I’m a crusader for what is fair and right. I haven’t written for a long time, but due to two accidents that are permanent and inoperable, life-changing – I went back to writing. It’s all I can do now – the old me (I want to say, the “best” me) is gone and I will never be that person again. I guess I am angry as no accountability has come from the surgeons or hospitals responsible for this. I would shrink into nowhere land if it wasn’t for writing and people like yourself reminding me that there is other purpose out there for me…perhaps just a different platform I didn’t plan on! 🙂

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      • Yes, yes, that’s what I am talking about. Glad, you are being more positive. You do have a different platform. It’s important, that you keep that in mind. I don’t know what happened to you, but I am truly sorry it did. But never let your spirit die. Being a Brash person, i am met with a lot of resistance but I continue because I believe in genuine, straightforwardness. Find a faith and Live it forever….you have the ability to adjust to these new changes in your life by accepting them and seeing how you can still enjoy your life.

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