People experience loss in very different ways. People experience what they value differently too. Depending on what you are taught to value, is how you will experience that loss. If, when growing up, you are taught the difference between giving, taking and sharing we form a basis for understanding value. If you are taught to value money and possessions, that these things make you the person you are, things define you. What if you go bankrupt and lose everything – will you commit suicide? Money and success has represented you and your life.

But if money was not the valued commodity and family was – if you lost everything materialistic, wouldn’t your family or friends have the most important value to you, not your image of success? Family and friends are there when nothing and nobody else is…

How do you define yourself? What is really important to you? How do you represent yourself in the world?

Just food for thought….

29 thoughts on “Loss/values

  1. I think successful isn’t about money, and how you said, each of us feels differently. For me, all the power of success means that happiness you’re soul can feel inside. Giving me answers about this, family means a lot, but there are people who keeps you near them, doesn’t let you go all bc of the power of love and egoism. Influences are all over and family members are the best on it. I think the most wonderful feeling of success that you can feel is in the moment when you’re looking outside of you, at you, and bringing a big smile! 🙃


  2. I don’t quite know how to define myself now … I was a mum for so long and now am probably a bit lost. I chose to put children before a career so now am surrounded with people who are all madly career oriented and frankly I don’t seem to have much in common with them. If I’m being honest, I’d say that I feel as though my horticultural qualifications and abilities don’t really count for much in their book. Childcare and cooking don’t rate too highly either …. and yet … I don’t know, I think I’m just having a bit of a wobble! Lovely post and it made me think! Katie


    • I know what you mean…with a different story but also just a little lost or feeling I was born into the wrong time or something… it’s ok though. The most important thing is that you value yourself…your role in bringing children up in this world is the toughest, not one of the toughest, but ThE toughest job in the world. That they turn out just OK is often a fricking miracle when you see where some kids come from! And cooking…if you can’t cook you don’t eat and if you don’t cook well, you don’t eat well or at all either! I love cooking, I use it to tell people I care about them 🙂🥧🥮🍜🥗

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    • What about the intangible things like losing love or a relationship, be it to separation or death? What about losing hope? Faith? It’s about the things you can’t see that have the most value. Or perhaps you mean that you are an emotional minimalist?Lol 😁🙏

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      • Well, I have already experienced losing “love of my life” and “losing hope on everything” so I know for a fact that I can survive those again if needed. I already have experienced all the things that hurt like hell, so not scared of what might happen in the future. Only thing that I do now is enjoying the good stuff while I have it

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      • And those things are so much more valuable than a car or money or anything we can “have”. We are gifted time with someone. I love your attitude and in no way should you lessen your passion for life and everything in it. I guess the question is really about whether losing lots of money is more or less important than losing someone. Having your car taken/repossessed is worse or not than having your child taken away from you…what is more valuable to you. Loving a sick child/partner or loving a diamond ring or a house etc. The question is perhaps what you value from surviving those losses? We all suffer loss in different degrees and some survive and learn something….maybe the experience makes them change what they value and what they are really prepared to lose. It’s a complex question for sure, but good to think on 🙂🙏

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  3. My Guru, Paramhansa Yogananda, has said : If wealth is lost, you have lost very little; if health is lost you have lost more; but if your soul is lost, you have lost the most.
    Pain and Pleasure do remain two sides of the same coin …

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  4. I think how we define ourselves is a very big part of how we view our success. For a long time I felt that I needed to be defined by a career title. Then, when I became a mom and was with my daughter and temporarily put career stuff on hold, I got depressed. Then, I had to remind that I am more than my career and degrees.

    I no longer try to define myself based on any sort of labels, I find happiness is inside of us absent of any definition or label. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

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