The Game

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It’s never easy talking about things that make us look weak in others’ eyes.  Like suicide, like depression – we know it is seen as ‘ not coping’ so we say nothing.  Saying nothing means nothing can change.  The same negative thoughts, the same repetitive hate talk, the same triggers to feeling overwhelmed don’t go away…

But it’s never OK to talk about feeling like you want to kill yourself. Nobody seems to know what to do if you have ever mentioned it to anyone, or they cry and panic and call people you just didn’t want involved.  Sometimes we mention it several times before actually committing or getting to a point of actual commitment to the act.  If a blade is going to be used, there are often preparation cuts – which can put the person off using that type of method – as it kind of hurts!  But if you want to kill yourself, you will find a way.

There is that old saying about someone attempting suicide is really a call for help.  I think in many cases this is true.  There seems to be no other answer to end the angst and pain.  That feeling like you don’t belong and want out, combined with all the spiritual stuff out there that indicates we get more than one chance at life – we’ll just get to come around again.  If you believe in God and heaven or Jesus – you believe in your salvation, you believe you will stand with Jesus on the other side.  And if you believe that when you’re dead, you’re dead – well Hell, at least the pain, confusion and suffering will have ended.

The idea of death is the idea that it will be the end of the suffering – forever, like switching off a light.  Or is it perhaps turning one on? For us?  To shine a light on something we have forever kept in the dark. It keeps happening, numbers keep increasing, children younger and younger are opting out of life – Why? Our kids seem to be more violent, suffering more and lacking resilience.

Do they think they are in a game and have more lives? The Game of Life? Pass Go and do not collect $200…

13 thoughts on “The Game

  1. This resonates with me, except I didn’t know that I was going to try and commit suicide. Almost like the Shinigami in Japanese culture. In my case Autistic Burnout was the cause…
    I am okay now, though πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely, talking is a key! Lovely piece!
    Perhaps the reluctance for others to talk about suicide is less about the individual going through those dark time and more about the recipients own fears of dark places. Most people cannot face expressing emotion and being open in areas they themselves cannot go to. I think it’s less about empathy towards those suffering. Either way out in the open is the way forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Believe me the darkness id horrible. You sometimes look forward to the glow of the fires of Hell. I don’t know if it’s a call for help or not. People need to spread as much light as we can and keep our noses out of salacious media.


    Liked by 1 person

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