With some leftover tea
I chuck some painkillers at me
A certain kind of guilt and
a definitive disgust wash over me
I fight every day
to keep a smile on my face
being strong, overcome
I have a new life to embrace
I know this is not what
I signed up for
I’ve paid the full price
for so much more
But I guess some you win
and some you lose
So I experience my life
in a different pair of shoes
But I’m still so sure
I was destined for so much more
so much more
I’ve already paid for
© Kait King, 2015
Meet me in the middle
and I’ll take you to the end
Tell me that you trust me
and I’ll let you be my friend
Promise me the world
and it’ll fall at your feet
Run the faster race
’cause it’s me you have to beat
Don’t believe in rumours
and they won’t control your life
Believe in what you want to be
and step into that light
© Kait King, 2015
I think there are two kinds of people in the world;
Those who will take everything
and those who would give anything
© Kait King, 2015
Kait King 13th June 2020
It doesn’t matter
if you wrote it
in a letter
caught a plane to
come and get her
Think you really
could do better
Sorry for the day man,
that you met her
she took your money
coz you let her
now that time is just
a blur together
and you look like
you’ve been through
the shredder
© Kait King, 2015
Ted Bundy
Our monsters don’t look
like monsters
There is no way to tell
If they’ll share a slice of Heaven
or bring the hate of Hell
They don’t all have dangerous killer looks
they are not all uneducated and despise books
Look at Ted, a prime example
of a learned man who was extremely harmful
Ted Bundy, yes
he was an educated man
but not smart enough
to avoid the hang man
Then there’s really insane
Like Mr Ed Gein
who danced in the moonlight with his mother’s skin on his face
© Kait King, 2015
Jay and George
Beauty Boundless
child of mine
with hopeful heart
and fascinated mind
Beauty Boundless
land of mine
filled with color
seen by the blind
Beauty Boundless
spirit of mine
where love will rest
till the end of time
© Kait King, 2015
I guess the question of why would be relative to one’s beliefs, perception and world view. If the answer to the question is different due to this, then there are different results with each answer. Some might believe the why was: because they deserved it or God wanted it that way or human suffering is pay back or whatever other beliefs people have about the reasons why they want out. Do they exist to be beaten, maligned and controlled? Do they exist just to suffer? To be targets for predators of Child Abuse, rape and murder? We know all of the good things… Sometimes they get covered up in the bad. I think more than anything, people who want to die, ask themselves, the Universe and all gods “why am I here? For what purpose must I hurt beyond my control? Beyond what I can bear…”
But I’m still here, still bearing when I thought I needed to escape the unbearable. Was I a fool to hang around waiting to die or should I take the quick option and kill myself? Was that cheating? Not knowing is what keeps me waiting. Does that mean that those who do take their lives have absolute faith? Absolute knowledge? Or are they just in absolute Hell? Are they absolutely past caring? Perhaps there is no right or wrong answer…or maybe no answer at all. Perhaps we just exist to exist. We live we die – rinse and repeat…
I think of you
and dreardom stops
I think of you
and there’s a color
I can’t name
© Kait King, 2015
Inky black, I’m sucked back
down to her darkest depths
Like an octopus her story wraps me in its tentacles
A stranglehold on stories told
and the ink she has spread across the page I can’t see through
I think I’m drowning…it’s sticky black and I should come up for air
even though my mouth is open to suck grace in -nothing fills my lungs
even though my eyes are open there is nothing – nothing but darkness
inky blackness the colour of the story told with the pain of being buried alive
© Kait King, 2015
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
Love won’t last forever
anchored only in lust
Kisses for kisses
I forgive you your past
it’s the only way through
If you want us to last
© Kait King, 2015
What’s the difference
when it’s all the same
we go down this road
and come back again
Forgiven you, I haven’t
when it’s caused me
all this pain
and if you try to find me
I’ll fall back into you
again
© Kait King, 2015
” Paper is
the bottomless
cup
I can pour
myself into “
© Kait King, 2017
I see
the lonely landscape
of an empty soul
Someone incomplete
Someone who’s not whole
It doesn’t take another person
to make you feel as one
You must just believe in yourself
and something to enhance you
will come
© Kait King, 2015
I so wish
I could have
been a better mum
But he still loves me
anyway
I see the photo
next to me
Colors blue and grey
you and I
Not much to spend
but time
and he still loves me
anyway
I feel I may have
failed you in
too many ways
to count
In spite of that
you are a beautiful
soul
and you still love me,
anyway
Kait King 16/7/2018
I cry
I cry and I cry
for what I am not
What I am perceived as
is not what they got
I grieve
I break and bend
for what has a future
that already knows the end?
© Kait King, 2015
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