The Unknown

The unknown

And confusion rages

like a winter storm

pushing through my

veins and there’s nothing

I can think

Although there is plenty

I could do

But the storm is

blinding and vicious

And I’m thinking of

my life

Like between a rock

and a hard place

And no, I’m not trapped

I’m not unhappy…

with right now

As the ever-bleeding

heart I’m eased

into the terror of

the unknown

It’s not a bad dream

If it was I wouldn’t know if

 I really want to wake up –

Does this just mean for me

that it’s time to face reality?

© Kait King, 2016

Mother’s Day every day

My Mum and Dad in Queen St, Auckland 1956

I walk down the aisle

my eyes passing over cards

words springing out

about Mum going

the whole nine yards

And I stop to read a few

The words just seem

insipid

when I think of you,

Mum

A journey into the intrepid

Four babies later

and over 60 years married

Through wars, tonsillitis,

tears and love you tarried

Now here I am

a mother too

And these words I say: “I love you”

Have also come

from my son’s mouth

and heart

But to say them to you

doesn’t even begin to start

to express what a fantastic Mum you’ve been

You’ve done a good job,

I’m a good human being

So I tell you you’re an amazing Mum

and people are proud of the job you’ve done!
© Kait King, 2015

Whoever you are

I just want you to know

that you are not alone

I know it sounds empty –

we can’t talk

I can’t hug you

I can’t invite you into my home

But I need you to know

that there is someone out there

someone who also feels the same

is sick of the same game

and shares the same fears

If I can make you understand

this is not what defines you

but the choices you make

from this day forward

even when you don’t know

what to do

© Kait King, 2015

Daily grind of a good guy

Daily grind

I come home

the cat’s at my feet

kids are crying

but there’s nothing made to eat

It’s a hard day at work

with paper knee deep

and the heater’s broken

so I can’t get to sleep

Yet another day comes

we follow like sheep

I can’t find the faith

to make that big leap

I know I shouldn’t take it in

so very, very deep

But it seems to be sort of extra hard

when you aren’t someone who cheats

© Kait King, 2015

Thought # 1

thought 1

If you’re very rarely or never told “No” or don’t have to wait or work for anything, will it be a harder struggle to get on in the World? (This is based on most normal and reasonable of situations – single or separate parenting included and of course, on a continuum).

In the “Real World” no one else treats you the same way as your parents do. No one else cares the same way for you as your parents do. No one else in the World will give you the same leeway. Will one lack a certain resilience because one can’t deal with a No, or don’t understand why it’s a No?

Your Ego takes a beating, hearing all those ‘yeses’ and how wonderful you are at everything and then a No would just take the wind right out of your sails, it’s a shock. Is it about that resilience? Even against adversity and with all the curve balls life throws you, wouldn’t it be better to be able to face that adversity? I am not talking about being a nagging No Hound about everything – but I do think we need to prepare our children for “out there”! Just tell them the truth, make them stand for something, let them know what their strengths and weaknesses are and let them embrace them all and use them to their best advantage in this crazy Life.

If it is about resilience then we must give our children that strength and fight. They need these things to be able to survive – and not just survive but to live well.

Kait King 2017

Dark Man

darkman

What cruel god

sent you to me

dark hair

dark eyes

dark soul

What fallen angel

turned on me

bitter anger

bitter words

bitter mind

What desperado

begged to be

the embittered mind

and darkened soul

in me

© Kait King, 2015

It’s Just Life

it's just life

I am lying

on my bed

it’s too hot

and the TV’s

too loud

Yet the noisiest

thing

is you

in my head

I can hear

the washing machine

beeping and

beeping endlessly

WTF is wrong

with those things?!

I know I should

eat something

but

I truly can’t be

bothered

it’s just

food

it’s just

money

it’s just

love

it’s just

life…

© Kait King, 2016

knuckle-bite-fright

knucklebite fright

warped, crippled twisted and blackened

my monsters will be set free

decrepit, decayed, barren of soul

sit here or there and all will see

Damaged, Dangerous, Dark and Fright

my monsters travel day or night

bad dreams,

bad thoughts,

dark, gnarled,

knuckle-bite-fright

not all is as it seems….

© Kait King, 2015

This Buzzy Little Feeling

Buzzy feeling

There’s this buzzy

little feeling –

right in the center of me

And although my body is weighted

something in there

has zero gravity

Is that my Troubled Spirit

or could it be my Lonely Soul?

If I caste this bodily feeling

is it my Spirit that makes me

Whole?
© Kait King, 2016

Are You OK?

No, I’m not OK

she said

And I didn’t know

what to do

But all she really needed

was someone to

talk to

Not everything is

fixable

or even wants to

be fixed, so

we learn to live with

special things

sometimes things we would

never show

some things are just too ugly

to let anybody know

© Kait King, 2016

Rock Bottom

Rock bottom

I hit rock bottom

I sat on that bottom rock

weeds and roots tethered me close

and not in a Lovers’ Lock

Catatonic in my despair

broken like a car crash victim

I clutched at straws and sucked in air

feeling like I needed Lithium

Overwhelmed by what I’m not

broken by what I was

fighting what it has to be

a fallen star, a lost cause, tell it as it is

that old me will never leave

it’s a part of what makes me

my body may have let me down

but when I write – I’m free

© Kait King, 2015

No Way

No Way

There’s just no stopping

a speeding bullet

straight to the heart

With no clanking armour

or a bullet-proof vest

so it rips you apart

There’s just no way

to make it unscathed

through the day

with no love and no hope

no string to cling to

No reason to stay

© Kait King, 2015

Lucky

Lucky

Every second we suck in air, a child is hurt or dying somewhere in the world – that makes air a pretty high commodity and a very expensive way to look at breathing our air. Therefore make it worthwhile, make it count, but make it count in love and kindness, caring and passing on joy – not just to children but to all. Breathe your air with purpose, you’re really lucky, every day is a blessing 🙂 Kait King 2016