This is a DONATION
Someone suggested that I could get paid to write and that I should set up a donations page. So here goes! It feels a little awkward but this is what I would like to do full-time, write. I can’t pay my bills unless I earn my way so this will be my leap of faith. Thank you for letting me believe I have wings!
NZ$1.00
CH: I know what I have
and I know what I want
What I can’t figure out
is what it is that I don’t
Verse 1: I don’t have to take
their crap
and all that yakkity-yak
that does me no good
in my Soul
Verse 2: I’ve walked down
that track
And I have always
looked back
but that does me no good
in my Soul
Verse 3: ‘Cause I’ve cried
nearly every day
And that’s not just something
I’d say
’cause it does me no good
in my Soul
Verse 4: But then I look
at you
And I know Love
so true
and that does the World of Good
in my Soul
© Kait King, 2016
Kait King 13th June 2020
So do you think it may annoy you
should I love you too much
That time would trap you in a heartbeat
If I won’t give you up
Is it crazy to think
that you will only touch my skin
stroke my hair
and let me in
Will it be overwhelming if I say
I love you every day
leave notes in your lunchbox
and always want you to stay
the night
the week
forever
Is it rude of me to want all of you
not a share, a percentage or a piece
but the everything and nothingness
of you
the very most and the very least
© Kait King, 2015
When I got away from the place where I had been raped, I walked home. I had my horse with me but I couldn’t ride him. I just stumbled my way home through snot and tears. My horse kept nudging me as he had never seen me like this. I can’t explain fully what was going on inside. I think I was shocked, in disbelief. And surprised. I was so surprised at how casual and normal the man who had just raped me, had been. He apologized for ripping my clothes as he handed the remnants to me and asked me if I wanted a drink of water….I mean, an absolute fucking gentleman. Anyway – sorry, that bit of sarcasm was unavoidable – I left with my head down and a confused shame, embarrassment and doubt came over me. I doubted what had happened. I doubted what I believed. I doubted my actions and questioned whether I had offered myself for this man to take. But that was not true, I know this now that I’m older, stronger, wiser and not confused by my naivete anymore. At the time I had no compass, nothing like this had ever been in my world. Now I wasn’t safe anymore, that’s how I felt. My parents couldn’t do anything to change what had happened, neither could I, or any god or universal plane… I know it changed me forever.
I always wondered if I would’ve been a different person if I hadn’t been raped. How different my worldview may have been, my relationships with the men in my life. Those things ate me up at that confused time, but what killed my soul was that someone had taken something from me that I didn’t give. I played the situation over and over in my mind. It broke me. And then there were my loving parents whom I couldn’t look in the eye anymore. I felt dirty, guilty and ashamed. Those feelings began to become so intense and overwhelming they consumed me. And in a very short space of time, merely days.It seemed that everything and everyone else was rushing by and busy with life and I just seemed to keep repetitively falling and falling. Scrabbling at nothing on the sides and feeling totally worthless.
2 sugars
1 coffee
stirring up your day
2 people
1 future
they will be ok
1 wish
2 dreams
watch it float away
1 hope
2 worlds
1 lifetime to play
© Kait King, 2015
Demon –
Call me Frightalicious
Ghouls and Trolls
Ghosts and Monsters alike
Scaring, creeping, screaming death
Freaking the fuck out
of your night
Don’t start breathing
Hold it in
The Beasts of Evil
thumping heart, frightened mind
trembling like the child you are
Don’t you let them in
© Kait King, 2015
- Poetry, or writing, isn’t a forced process, I wake up at night to scribble down stuff. I keep a pen and notebook at hand so that I don’t lose anything – I may wake up in the clear light of day and just think it’s a load of crap….but at least I get to verify that!
If I win
I will have won this
fair and square
If I lose
I will have lost this
and won’t have to care
about you
or your new girlfriend
If I’m wrong
I will be cataclysmically incorrect
I will owe on every bet
and beg you to forget her
and her endless bank account
legs and youth
If you could just be brave
and tell the truth
But I see you squirming
awkward in your plush car seat
I can see the worm –
it’s turning
Now it’s with me
you cheat…
© Kait King, 2015
Frankenfearless I am not
The monsters make me nervous
We meet them almost every day
So navigating life can be perilous
© Kait King, 2015
My world breathes
a sigh
and Spring blows
over the rain
Sun bleeds
her way in
I can’t wait
for Summer
again
© Kait King, 2015
I breathe feelings
I dance emotions
and coddle dreams
I rap time
if it’s mine
and wander the roads
of forever
I trickle into hearts
sometimes I’m poured
sometimes it’s voracious
sometimes
bored
The mystical flow
of the words that glow
in the firelight
faces wait
breath held in
anticipation
waiting on
the words of love
so soft
so real
so true
I feel them
Can you feel them too?
© Kait King, 2015
What do you mean?
You don’t get it?
I’ve talked the hind leg
off a donkey
telling you why it is
what it is
and no
I don’t regret it
How can you say that?
How would you know?
I get pissed that I’m not good enough
I won’t put my assets on show
I watch you watching yourself
under the radar
so low
Hiding who you really are
and now I wish I didn’t know
When did you do that?
Is it like, someone I know?
There is no name, no face
No one to show
And I need a body to bury
So I can let you go
© Kait King, 2015
People experience loss in very different ways. People experience what they value differently too. Depending on what you are taught to value, is how you will experience that loss. If, when growing up, you are taught the difference between giving, taking and sharing we form a basis for understanding value. If you are taught to value money and possessions, that these things make you the person you are, things define you. What if you go bankrupt and lose everything – will you commit suicide? Money and success has represented you and your life.
But if money was not the valued commodity and family was – if you lost everything materialistic, wouldn’t your family or friends have the most important value to you, not your image of success? Family and friends are there when nothing and nobody else is…
How do you define yourself? What is really important to you? How do you represent yourself in the world?
Just food for thought….
I’m not looking for somebody else
I just want to see you
I completed your lie detector test
and everything I say is true
There is no rhyme or reason
to why we feel this way
but this won’t be successful
with all the games you play
I really want to believe you
but I think I’ve been a fool
I just want to keep silent –
with you
I’ll lose my cool
So I cry quietly
in my pillow in the night
Knowing things are ending
Knowing things aren’t right
Knowing that no matter what
you don’t love me the same
I’ll be the one at night
alone, I’ll cry your name
© Kait King, 2015
