If You Enjoy My Words…

I would really appreciate your help…

Someone suggested that I could get paid to write and that I should set up a donations page. So here goes! It feels a little awkward but this is what I would like to do full-time, write. I can’t pay my bills unless I earn my way so this will be my leap of faith. Thank you for letting me believe I have wings! Please note your donation is in NZ dollars and you may determine the amount – thank you again x

NZ$1.00

The Takers and the Givers

Givers and takers

I think there are two kinds of people in the world;

Those who will take everything

and those who would give anything

© Kait King, 2015

Beauty Boundless

Jay and George

Jay and George 1990

Beauty Boundless

child of mine

with hopeful heart

and fascinated mind

Beauty Boundless

land of mine

filled with color

seen by the blind

Beauty Boundless

spirit of mine

where love will rest

till the end of time

© Kait King, 2015

Blink of an Eye

Domestic violence

that Evil Beast

Thriving on hurt

when all you want

is Peace

Insecure person

always comparing in loss

Punching out your feeble Anger

But your Family pays the cost

Vulnerable? Were you

beaten yourself?

Shouldn’t you know better

than to put them through

this Hell?

Poor little person…

Is that what you want

them to think?

So here you stand at

a Crossroad

You can change all of this

in a Blink

Kait King 2017

I Will Not Carve You In Stone

I trace the shape of you
with my eyes
with my hands
with my lips and tongue
I trace the shape of you
in my mind
in my heart
in my very being I let you sit
I trace the shape of you but
will not carve you in stone
The shape of you moves
the shape of you changes so
I will not carve you in stone

© Kait King, 2017

Daily grind of a good guy

Daily grind

I come home

the cat’s at my feet

kids are crying

but there’s nothing made to eat

It’s a hard day at work

with paper knee deep

and the heater’s broken

so I can’t get to sleep

Yet another day comes

we follow like sheep

I can’t find the faith

to make that big leap

I know I shouldn’t take it in

so very, very deep

But it seems to be sort of extra hard

when you aren’t someone who cheats

© Kait King, 2015

And you’re still here …

still here

You look at me

with such

tranquility

I believe perfection

sits here with us

I look at you

with such

admiration

to have entertained me enough

to still sit here

with me

© Kait King, 2016

Crazy Horse

Crazy horse

A young man stood in front of me. Slightly overweight with a bad crew cut. His left arm was heavily bandaged. He held it out to me like an offering – a kind gesture.

“What happened to you?” I asked. He dipped his head shyly and poked a toe at the grubby, coffee-stained carpet.

“It’s a long story.” He mumbled, “I was in love with a girl. I loved her for a really long time.”

His eyes flashed up briefly to catch mine. Glancing up to the right and back to the floor he continued.

“We always walked to school together – I was, I guess, obsessed with her.” I could see another flicker in his eyes, but of hesitation or clutching at a memory. “I bought her flowers and chocolates, wrote her cards and love letters. For a long time…” he trailed off.

“How long?”

“I dunno…” He scrunched his face up as if he was in pain, then breathed out, “Six years, three months, one week and four days.” And obviously still counting, alarmingly!

“That’s a long time to love someone.” I said.

It’s a long time to love someone if they don’t love you back.” He said, looking directly at me – scrutinizing my reaction.

“So why did you keep writing and giving to her?”

I thought she would love me if I could show her how much I loved her. I thought I could have her. She would be mine – but she left. She came up here, to the big smoke. She got a job, and apartment, new friends – a whole life of her own. What she didn’t realise was that she was my life. So I came to live here too. Then I followed her from her work one day. Just pretended I was in the area and had bumped into her, random like. That was not a very good thing to do – she got really mad and told me to leave…to leave her alone.” He stopped, rubbed his good arm across his eyes and sighed.

“That’s when I got this really cool idea!” His face lit up with his remembered ingenuity. “See, I read in a book somewhere that Van Gough had cut his ear off and sent it to the love of his life. So I thought to myself that I would prove how much I loved her – I would send her my arm. That’s bigger than an ear – it must mean more! So the next day I go to work and do my job. When I thought everyone had gone home, I turned my skill-saw back on and tried to cut my arm off.” He swallows a gulp of air and grins at me crazily.

“Geez, didn’t that hurt?” I ask.

“That’s why I stopped!” he laughs. “I pushed my arm onto the saw and it sliced quickly -which was my intention. Blood pissed everywhere – it quickly got through the bones before I had a chance to pull back and well….it was just kind of hanging off and that’s when I thought to myself; Shit, what the hell am I doing – this hurts! What a mess too. I would’ve died too , I suppose, if the other guy hadn’t heard me screaming before I passed out.”

© Kait King, 2015

Slowly Summer

Spring into Summer

With drifting tendrils

of Spring

Summer curls her way

into

places

where shadows

hang around

with a Wintery gruffness

A warmth travels –

infrequently

flying through

the trees and grasses

with just a tease

of what’s to come

Sky of blue and spring rains fall

the fluttering tweets

and grassy delights of the

new nesting families hurrying along

Spring’s lazy gait

© Kait King, 2016

Re-thought



When standing here
with you
I don’t know what to do
or who to be
A lost and broken
man
Holding out his
hands
I don’t know
where to turn
I was swept up by
you

Crushed and broken, too

now I don’t know who I am…

© Kait King, 2015

Trust me

Trust me

Meet me in the middle

and I’ll take you to the end

Tell me that you trust me

and I’ll let you be my friend

Promise me the world

and it’ll fall at your feet

Run the faster race

’cause it’s me you have to beat

Don’t believe in rumours

and they won’t control your life

Believe in what you want to be

and step into that light

© Kait King, 2015

Writer’s Blogk: Observation 1

  1. As a writer, if you don’t suffer empathy, then you really will only ever write for yourself…

If you thought…

If you thought

you knew him

he could be read

like a book

Seeing is believing, baby

turn the page –

take a look

If you thought

you loved him

and he’d do anything

for you

check out his phone

he’s not at home

and now love,

you know what’s true

If you look at him

and think

to yourself

He’s not what

they see

Look a little

closer girl

the truth in him

will tease

And if he’s truly

for you

know beyond

a doubt

and if he isn’t

girlfriend

best you get

the fuck out

© Kait King, 2015

Compare and Despair

It’s your specialty
how you play with me
with mind
in motion
and bodies in ecstasy
Charged
Divine
your laugh trapped in time
Secretly, you practice
your lines
A mirror glance
poison flows
those eyes watch with compare
assessing what you
haven’t got
collapsing in despair
And everybody
Knows….

© Kait King, 2015

It’s Funny

It's funny

It’s funny

how I think

of you

So randomly –

So out of

The blue

It’s crazy

After all this time

It’s been decades

Since

you were mine

© Kait King, 2016

Sword of Damacles

Sword of Damacles

When you’re hanging by a thread

and the voices in your head

say “just let go”

When you feel torn and down

you try to take a look around

but find

you’re blind

And the time is running out

and you know what it’s about

you can feel that hanging rope

that blade against your throat

and you lean on in….

© Kait King, 2015

The Sink Hole

I will not be labeled

As damaged or disabled

I won’t let myself think

I’ll just go down like

Water gurgling in a sink

I try to envision my life

With more purpose

Than “useless”

Sometimes this is

An exercise

Quite fruitless

I won’t slide down

That gurgling sink

And I know that’s what

A lot of people

Think

But I’ve proved them

Wrong before

Not just once

But even more

I won’t quietly go down

That gurgling sink

I have more words

To say

More words

I must ink

I’m not here

To kick up a stink

I just want to make

More people think

Before I go down

That gurgling sink

Kait King 12th July 2019

A Survivor

I’m calling myself A Survivor – this will enable me to be as honest as possible about my experience with suicide and I guess rape too, as this was the reason why I felt so ashamed and unworthy to be alive and walking around on this earth.
This isn’t going to be easy or pretty, but I will tell my story as best as I can. If I can prevent or deter someone from actually completing a suicide, then I can die a happy person – but not via suicide! 🙂
Welcome all, and I hope we can have some really meaningful and open discussions about suicide and all of the strings attached. Sometimes, it just helps to talk, and I am here for exactly that.
Peace, love, and light peeps – don’t beat yourself up, don’t let yourself down – just take a breath and believe in yourself.
A Survivor

Spinning in a void

Spinning in a void

Spinning

in a void –

like this

Wanting to

stay still

for a while –

Knowing nothing

lasts

forever

but wanting

to last

a lifetime

with you

© Kait King, 2015

Urban Dismay

urban-dismay

The city streets

look oh so sleek

but only when

it rains

Below the glitterati

Porsche

Benz

Maserati

In the parking basement

remain

Below even that

expensive, unreal mat

broken people

who never

have gain

No cash in the casino

No boat in the marina

And no money

to hide

their pain

© Kait King, 2016

Having the Freedom to

i-dont-want-to

I don’t want to just

be friends any more

If you’re not going to try

I can show you the door

I’m not very good at

laying the blame

I don’t want to play

that dangerous game

I just about burst

when all I want to say

when I look into your blue eyes

is “I love you” every day

I just want us both to

be allowed to be free

for me to be in love with you

and you

crazy in love with me

Kait King 2017

Rage

Her internal organs

were completely shoved

out of place

You couldn’t tell

where her eyes were

on her once

normal face

Her mouth,

no teeth…

although alive,

she had only 2

Her fingernails

held DNA

Her bruises spoke

in black

and blue

There was no weapon,

no club

no knife

Just pure

Red Rage

Rage enough

to steal

a life

Her family

yes, she has one,

Will have to hear

the tragic

news

of how,

in her relationship,

she was violently

abused

The children

saw

their father

as she was

twisted

punched and

burnt

It’s said she

stayed for

the children

Now, a lesson

sadly learned

And putting to

“Rest” their

Mother’s bones

So they look ahead

“Stay positive”

“You’re not alone”

“At least you have

a roof over

your head”

and face life

in a

foster home

While wishing

they were

dead…

Kait King 2020

Delete me…

Delete me

inconsequentially


without regard


Press me

into the shape


of your PC


and remove me


How easy

would it be


to delete me

In reality?

Kait King 2024

Suicide – sometimes it’s not a choice, it’s the only option

I was reminded to clarify this, by a comment and I thank you; this is how it feels to the person who is so broken they can’t see any future or hope. Of course there are so many more options than suicide, but to the suicide victim there is not.

The writer’s blogk: Observation 9

9. Don’t write for writing’s sake

Vivisanction

Perhaps stop

splicing Elephants

to Faeries

and things of such

ridiculousness

Perhaps don’t bring

the Mammoth

back to life

as tempting as

it is

to be God

Perhaps the World

is perfect

the way

She is

the way

She works

And even better

without humans

Perhaps it’s

all as it

should be…

All that it is

Kait King 21/04/2020

Drinkies

“I am not thirsty –

I am the tall glass of water.”

Kait King 19. 12. 2024

Insides Out

insides out

What’s on the inside is all that matters…..

But if there is no one around to see the insides on the inside…

Are they better out?

© Kait King, 2015

Another Opportunity

opportunity

Yes love,

that’s exactly

what you do

Dust yourself off

once you’ve

pulled yourself up

and sing

dance

stand tall

Honey if you

think about it

it’s not the first time

and be sure

it will not be the last

You know the rights

from the wrongs

Don’t ever let them change

your song

With a Nelson Mandelian

grace

and a dignity dug

from the deep

You will triumph

and in a cloud of

dust, like a rolling

Pig Pen

You flagrantly walk

your walk into

another opportunity

© Kait King, 2016

His broken heart is hid

Life suspended in a web-like hammock

the coffee smell not as nostril-curling as in the past

a homeless man stumbles along wet walks

dragging his sorry arse along the splinter lit street

a reflection of a sad life in a hard city,

his city, a place where he lost his wife and his job,

a home, his family

where he nearly took his own

when things were darker than ebony

and he had to walk his walk alone

A bunch of aggro school kids

too brash and way too loud

disrespect his foul figure on the skids

he had no room to be proud

He seeks a place that’s dry

it won’t be warm,

he knows a place where he can cry

and his aching tears won’t show

© Kait King, 2015

You know it’s over when…

u kno its over wen

So this is it

I mean nothing to you

I no longer exist in your world

There is no contact number for me

In your cellphone

anymore…

Kait King © 2015

When I Write

when i write

When I write

every word is like

a finely crafted feather

particles of a winged voice

To uplift imagination

poor soothe upon torment

A flight path

mind’s destination to dream

picture perfect characters

who they are

where they belong

where you fit in

Nestled tight

keep out cold

turn against the winds of ice

water falling crashing calling

the feather nestled tight

let your imagination take flight

with these words I write

© Kait King, 2015

When you let me in

beautiful-immortal-vampires-eternal-lovers

When we are

touching skin

when you have

let me in

With a dream-like

essence

I feel your

presence

the heat from

your skin

when you let me in

I know there

are no lies

I can see it

in your blue eyes

I can feel it

from your mouth

I can hear it in

your blazing skin

when you let me in

the goose bumps on

your flesh

and our kiss

can only express

we are so lost

it must be a sin

but only when

you let me in

© Kait King, 2015

Crime of Passion

Nils_Dardel_Crime_passionnel

I wonder what my reaction

would be

if I came home and had

to see

you with someone that was

not me?

Would I stay or

would I flee?

The four stages

of shock

when you find someone else

locked

on the end of your man’s

cock

and you need a loaded

Glock

So do you stand quietly

by the door

do you want to

watch some more

or

do you want to scream at her

she’s a whore

or collapse on

the floor or

walk out?

Do you do it all

real calmly

like you don’t really

want it to be

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Would you please explain to me?”(tearfully)

That would be nice

but it’s not me

This is more

my reality

“I’m gonna kill the both of you for free!”

“How could you do this to me?” (insanely)

But a gun wouldn’t leave me

in doubt…

© Kait King, 2015

Guides and Guardians

guardians-and-guidesfemale-guardian-angel-drawings-guardian-angel-86314

“I think legally, ‘Sole Custody’ should read ‘Soul Custody’, and we all know why…”

© Kait King, 2016

Suffocate me

Suffocate me

Lash me to you

bind me

with your love

string me along with

the world’s largest ball of twine

that’s fine

Wrap me in your arms

swaddle me in your dreams

Take me further than

the ends of our Earth

As far as that may seem

© Kait King, 2015

Dude you need a Tic Tac!

squirrel kiss kitten

If you are able to correct something

that is harmfully wrong ~

Then it must be done.

© Kait King, 2015

Chocolate for my Mind

Chocolate for mymind

Tripping

spilling

falling

dropping

words come tumbling out

Hedonistic

realistic

possibly artistic

like chocolate for my mind

are the words from my soul

replete

resplendent

and resonate

to make me feel whole

© Kait King, 2017

What can we do about child abuse? Phase One – Sexual

I would just like to say this is purely my opinion based on the knowledge and research I have undertaken. I would like to also note that I have absolutely nothing against consenting adults indulging in whatever they agree upon but this is not the case with child abuse. Apologies in advance if I offend anyone, although, not if you’re a paedophile or an abuser or violator of any kind!

1.) Understand the Paedophile

There is no race, country, religion, creed, colour or status that child abuse does not touch. With or without; money, love, two parents, exceptional education or anything and everything money can or cannot buy, will not identify who will and who will not be touched by child abuse. The innate behaviour of a paedophile can’t be changed. I use the word innate as it is – it is a preference that a paedophile is behaviourally, innately (not by choice – like being homosexual) attached to and can’t change. For example, I am a straight female – heterosexual. There is no amount of counselling, medication, psychiatric, religious or any other kind of “help” to be offered to me to change the fact that I am heterosexual – you cannot counsel me into being a lesbian or a fetishist or to like B&D if that is not part of my reptilian brain sexuality and not who I, innately, am.

Perhaps if we took more of an attitude that paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated (as science realised with homosexuality – it is their sexuality and not a choice), perhaps then less harm would come to our children. The majority of paedophiles who go through rehabilitation programmes re-offend again and very quickly. How would you go through life without sexual gratification, particularly during the peak of your hormonal life without any sexual gratification even though there are numerous opportunities for you to fulfil that desire – and yet you can not. This is irrational and unreasonable to expect of someone’s sexuality. Sexuality is what we are hot-wired for as human beings. It is what makes the world turn. So with that being said, with sexuality such a massive part of our being as human beings to survive – how on earth can we possibly expect a known paedophile not to re-offend?

We look at the paedophile through our own eyes and perception – a “non-pedocentric” view, whereas we need to know how a paedophile perceives the world and his opportunity, his innateness and where he can be tripped up. We need to do extensive research into common identifiers paedophiles use to select a child to groom, whether on-line or in the real world scenario. They will be very different scenarios, also whether familial or non-familial grooming. The majority of offending against children was familial, but now with the internet and the availability that strangers have to our children, this is swaying. We need to do everything – not something – but everything to protect OUR children the world over. A society should be measured by the way it takes care of its’ vulnerable populations, not by how many meetings/summits/discussions a country pays for to discuss which assets should be sold or a lot of hot air where nothing changes but the hotel break was lovely and the food was great! For who’s benefit?

This is just the start of something I would like to continue writing about – this is Part One of goodness knows how many pieces, as this topic is fricken massive, but needs to be addressed. It is something that eats away at my heart and soul every day and so I hope whether you agree, disagree, have other stories, please share, please get involved because the more we talk about this, the more we find out, the more we can change. I mean, imagine if we could find out that the majority of paedophiles pick children who, for example, don’t make eye contact or wear the colour yellow – we would at least have something to work with. We must empower our children and remove power from the paedophile. I believe in the 35c solution for paedophiles – or use them for testing instead of our innocent animals – either way, they are taking up OUR kids air that they should not have to fear breathing anywhere at any time.

© Kait King, 2015

In Phase 2 I would like to continue with addressing the innate behaviour of the paedophile and the impossibilities of changing this, but with regards to desire and not just behaviour.

My Mama Says

jealous_love_by_kimded-d2yttnr

Mum says

they’re just jealous!

But it doesn’t

stop them

from treating me

like dirt

The teachers say

just stay away

which is easy

if I was invisible

or didn’t mind

getting hurt

© Kait King, 2015