Sadly, NZ has had a security breach via a medical database, and my identity has been compromised. Please confirm with me first via email if you see anything out of the normal for me. Thank you for your help and vigilance during this stressful time!
Sincerely
Kait King
I would really appreciate your help…
Someone suggested that I could get paid to write and that I should set up a donations page. So here goes! It feels a little awkward but this is what I would like to do full-time, write. I can’t pay my bills unless I earn my way so this will be my leap of faith. Thank you for letting me believe I have wings! Please note your donation is in NZ dollars and you may determine the amount – thank you again x
NZ$1.00
So do you think it may annoy you
should I love you too much
That time would trap you
in a heartbeat
If I won’t give you up
Is it crazy to think
that you will only touch
my skin
stroke my hair
and let me in
Will it be overwhelming if I say
I love you every day
leave notes in your lunchbox
and always want you to stay
the night
the week
forever
Is it rude of me to want all of you
not a share, a percentage or a piece
but the everything and nothingness
of you
the very most
and
the very least
© Kait King, 2015
“When you’re driven – you get places.”
© Kait King, 2015
That’s the last thing you wore
that held your warm body close
It was the last thing before
your heart and pressure slowed
A cloth got to finally hold you
something I never got to do
People say that it was better that way
But I don’t know if that’s quite true
I hold your once sweaty t-shirt
drenched now with my own tears
and try to inhale what’s left of you
As it fades from all the years
© Kait King, 2015
People experience loss in very different ways. People experience what they value differently too. Depending on what you are taught to value, is how you will experience that loss. If, when growing up, you are taught the difference between giving, taking and sharing we form a basis for understanding value. If you are taught to value money and possessions, that these things make you the person you are, things define you. What if you go bankrupt and lose everything – will you commit suicide? Money and success has represented you and your life.
But if money was not the valued commodity and family was – if you lost everything materialistic, wouldn’t your family or friends have the most important value to you, not your image of success? Family and friends are there when nothing and nobody else is…
How do you define yourself? What is really important to you? How do you represent yourself in the world?
Just food for thought….
What do you mean?
You don’t get it?
I’ve talked the hind leg
off a donkey
telling you why it is
what it is
and no
I don’t regret it
How can you say that?
How would you know?
I get pissed that
I’m not good enough
I won’t put my
assets on show
I watch you
watching yourself
under the radar
so low
Hiding who you
really are
and now I wish
I didn’t know
When did you do that?
Is it like someone I know?
There is no name, no face
No one to show
And I need a body
to bury
So I can let you go
© Kait King, 2015
Lonely words
on a hungry page
I see you through
a love-drenched haze
I’ll make it through
the crying days
I can’t help it that I love you
Bleeding heart
in a tortured mind
I never thought
You could be unkind
But I ll make it through
the hurting time
I can’t help it that I love you
© Kait King, 2015
Not all is well
In this tepid Hell
Frogs in a slow
cooking pot
Unaware how pleasant
is now
Unpleasant
And uncomfortably
hot?
So I lie to myself
Are we just stupid
Foolish
Or maybe just dumb?
That we can see
The wood for the trees
Eventhough
All the chopping’s
Been done?
Are we blind
Because we can’t
Seem to see
All the harm being done
To our precious families
Are we blind?
Kait King 2022
I cannot keep
my eyes open
the drugs,
they make me sleep
I cannot do what
I really want to
the drugs,
they make me weak
I cannot say
what I want to say
the drugs,
they tie my tongue
I cannot think
in all clarity
the drugs,
they make me wrong
© Kait King, 2015
The words that fall
off your fingers
as you tip tap text
to me
are untrue, hurtful
and dangerous
You’re acting like
a bully
I don’t want to do that
but you threaten
me with this
You lied and said
I fucked him
when it was just a kiss
Why are you so
mean to me
What makes it ok
that you and
your so-called friends
hang me
and then
watch me sway
I couldn’t find anyone
I felt I could talk to
See everyone thought
it was true
But now I’m not here
any more –
I hope that’s better
for you…
© Kait King, 2015
my scars inside
and out
are my permanent ink
my life story
my art
© Kait King, 2015
There’s a quiet
Restlessness
in me
An audible
sssshhhhhhh!
A restless soul
pacing
trapped in
my Human
frame
Human house…
Human name…
or something else….
Kait King 2020
So I look at my bills
and it scares me half to death
I can’t believe I’ve spent all that
and then all the rest
Numbers march across a page
attempting to make sense
My brain engages zero –
the numbers too intense
And I dream about other things
that I haven’t purchased yet
Like diamond rings and gold plated things
and maybe a Lear jet
© Kait King, 2015
There’s a light blinking
A candle
The dripping wax
is blood red
Like my life
seeping from my
soul
And there’s a nuisance
in my head
Who do I
believe?
Who do I
trust?
When it all seems
to be about
money –
that Filthy Lucre Lust
by Kait King
28/11/2020
Kait King 13th June 2020
I know you’re busy
I know you’re stressed
But you need to take
a breath
You need to have
a rest
Things still happen
Whether you like it or not
Take time to smell the
coffee and roses
‘cos it’s all about what
you’ve got
Being grateful is
quite easy
Being mindful is
the hard part
Reminding yourself to
slow down
To find some Peace
in your heart
Kait King 2022
V1. So you’re gonna tell me
that all that money
really makes it worthwhile
Yes, you’re here to say
that for a little more pay
you’re happy to change your style
V2. And it doesn’t matter
for worse or for better
it’s dollars in the bank you say
Well you’ve packed all your bags
No champagne, streamers or flags
Yes you’re off to be a star and hey –
Chorus: You can get to Hollywood easy
Show them what you’ve got
Even though it can be cheap and sleazy
I know that you are not
V3. Now you live up in the Hills
with fast cars and faster pills
Something to get you through each day
Red eyes and a bag of bones
But it’s just for the money you say, Hey –
Chorus….
© Kait King, 2016
This is just
a photograph
black and white
at that
it’s just a dream
I have
some of the same
old crap
That’s some weird
kinda unlucky
that’s really not
so hot
when you only see
what you don’t have
instead of what
you’ve got
Your glass is always
half empty
mine is always
half full
we can walk and
talk and
fall in love
which is more
than others
can do
© Kait King, 2015
If Pain
was Music
it would be
a Shrieking Violin
The Shriek
that makes
your Ears
Close off
without putting
your Fingers in
© Kait King, 2016
When it seems to me
that this is the end
you just keep coming back
to me, my friend
I say that word with a smirk
on my face
I can’t just be friends
and your shit’s at my place
you’ll look at me with
your shiny eyes
pull my heartstrings
like a baby’s cries
And it won’t matter
‘cos it’s all lies
Too much Too late Too soon
© Kait King, 2015
You promise
you’ll be home tonight
to kiss the kids and
hold me tight
You tell me it won’t be
the same
until it happens
once again
You say I am
the only one
and what’s been done
can’t be undone
I stay quietly alone
all through the day
watching our kids
grow and play
and when the door opens
later at night
they think you’re home,
that they are all right
But bedtime comes
and they can’t wait up
I am the ogre who’s
taken their pup
Little do they know
you don’t give a damn
Fathers’ like you
shouldn’t be called men
© Kait King, 2015
Please don’t make me
feel stupid
for cherishing you
Don’t laugh
at my love
I don’t know what else
to do
Although I guess
it’s pretty clear
that I’m not the one
for you
© Kait King, 2015
Ellen deGeneres
I feel like you’re one of us
When I see you on TV
I really feel you’re talking to me
And you say life is
not easy
when yours just seems
so breezy
and It’s not money that plays that part
but the love
beating in your heart
UPDATE: Was I so so wrong….💔
© Kait King, 2015
My joy
your face
My life
misplaced
My breath
filling space
Alive,
still
© Kait King, 2015
“It’s like a
Bomb’s gone off
in my head
My body is
numb – it’s
Not there!”
She said
“It’s like I
have really
lost
my will
Nothing left in
Life
gives me
the slightest
thrill –
and the depression
has taken me
it’s now complete
I’m shrouded in
The darkness of
The
“Depression Sheet”
She says it’s safe
for her to sit
right there –
She’s comfortable
In
Anxiety
Depression
and
Fear
Kait King July 2021
If I win
I will have won this
fair and square
If I lose
I will have lost this
and won’t have to care
about you
or your new girlfriend
If I’m wrong
I will be cataclysmically incorrect
I will owe on every bet
and beg you to forget her
and her endless bank account
legs and youth
If you could just be brave
and tell the truth
But I see you squirming
awkward in your plush car seat
I can see the worm –
it’s turning
Now it’s with me
you cheat…
© Kait King, 2015
In the neighbourhood
it’s not so good
people get hurt
nearly every day
And even if you knew
who did it
you could never say
In the neighbourhood
it’s not so good
that’s where the body lay
Where his Mama cried
where others had died
And all the community
could do
was pray
© Kait King, 2015
We teach our kids
to have a smaller
phone
a faster car
a bigger home
We teach our kids
to take what
they can
Never mind
if you
stomp on
plant
animal or
man
Little
do we know
the devastating
result
will be that
human life
on Earth
will grind to
an abrupt halt
© Kait King, 2015
Do you trust your instincts?
It wasn’t immediate. I struggled for years – over-sharing, telling my whole life – like a 70’s song the Fugees breathed life into …
But eventually, as time went on, I became aware of those instincts. The curling in my stomach, a whisp of a thought, the hair on the back of my neck standing up….so many signs I ignored in the beginning.
Sometimes I look back at my life and wonder how the fuck I’ve survived… especially those early, ignorant days.
Kait King
22nd November 2023
With a chattering
anxiety
A rattle pill-filled
state
the brain-numbing
chemicals
change the look
on
my face
That’s just
on the
outside
inside
it gets bad
Outside
is just a
cosmetic push
Inside –
you can’t change
sad…
© Kait King, 2016
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
Then something fantastic
is happening here
Someone’s falling in love
someone finally cares
Now something sad
has taken place
She can’t even bear
to look at his face
So something shocking
has now occurred
She killed them both
Have you heard?
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
© Kait King, 2015
How can a shriveled, dried up piece of skin, with empty glass eyes even vaguely represent the fluid energy of movement and the mystical mythical beauty of a live animal?
© Kait King, 2015
I don’t care
what the color of
your skin is…
But what’s
the color
of your
heart?
Kait King 2019
What my pen is to paper
my heart is to mind
My pen carves a life
across pages of time
White paper speaks purity
a story untold
the cursor marks the spot
start writing,
Be bold
Kait King 2015
“I believe we are here to fill our souls not our wallets…”
© Kait King, 2015
I just wanted
to be happy
As baffling as
that may seem
I just wanted to
spread Kindness
Remove the idea
of being mean
I just wanted
to have Peace
As impossible as
that seems
but it’s ok, they say,
to always have dreams
There is no need to
“stand your ground”
It isn’t yours, for a start
It will still be here
When we’re not around
It’s much better to leave
a piece of your Heart
© Kait King, 2016
The pencil –
it’s behind
your ear,
your glasses
on
your head
You put them
there
the last time
Why am I
so
brain dead?
The shopping list
sits smirkely –
left behind on
my unmade bed.
The cat’s been
fed twice
this morning,
He knows
he’s well
ahead.
But where are my
fucking glasses?
Where I put them –
on
my
head…
I’ve been to and from
the same
room three times!
With my forgetful,
empty
head.
I forget just about
everything –
but mainly my glasses
on my head.
And I know I stashed
a joint
somewhere
But it’s not there
where I said.
I forget just about
everything
especially
the glasses
on my head…
Kait King 2020
Nobody knows me
better than me
Nobody knows better
what will set me free
Nobody knows
what I need better
So why can’t I give it
to me?
© Kait King, 2015
Music to my ears
bouncing round my soul
shining through my eyes
making me feel full
precious stones of a polished melody
the funky bass is outta sight
pulling strings in harmony
the drums all sittin’ tight
the words are lazy, cruisey, bluesy
summer feeling
stealing through
the music drifting, holding
lifting
Music Love is true
my Music Love is true…
© Kait King, 2015
Sometimes I pull my jersey
up over my head
or just want to stay curled up
in my too big bed
I just want and wish
everything to go away
I feel numb, time is timeless
and
I don’t know what to say
Sometimes it makes me feel like
I’m only ten
and I’m playing hide ‘n’ seek
again
Sometimes I want to curl into
a ball
and say good bye
to it all
Sometimes I don’t know if I have
the energy to breathe
let alone anything else
life has
up it’s sleeve
Sometimes I wonder
what a life would be like
if I could be set free
without string
and fly like a kite
Sometimes I doubt
what lies in front of me
I try not too look too far ahead
as I might not like
what I see
© Kait King, 2015
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