This is a DONATION
Someone suggested that I could get paid to write and that I should set up a donations page. So here goes! It feels a little awkward but this is what I would like to do full-time, write. I can't pay my bills unless I earn my way so this will be my leap of faith. Thank you for letting me believe I have wings!
NZ$1.00
To a Child
Every time you leave, or I am leaving you, or stepping onto a plane or into a car, – basically every time we part, I wish the last words you hear from me to be: “I love you”. Because maybe one day they will be the last words you will hear from me and I want you to know how well you were loved, by me.
From a Mother
I was fortunate to have a relationship with my Dad. Back in the day it was not expected for Fathers to have that much to do with the children. That was just the era and error of the day…
Kait King 2017
Lonely words
on a hungry page
I see you through
a love-drenched haze
I’ll make it through
the crying days
I can’t help it that I love you
Bleeding heart
in a tortured mind
I never thought
You could be unkind
But I ll make it through
the hurting time
I can’t help it that I love you
© Kait King, 2015
This is just a photograph
black and white at that
it’s just a dream I have
some of the same old crap
That’s some weird kinda unlucky
that’s really not so hot
when you only see what you don’t have
instead of what you’ve got
Your glass is always half empty
mine is always half full
we can walk and talk and
fall in love
which is more than others can do
© Kait King, 2015
V1. So you’re gonna tell methat all that money
really makes it worthwhile
Yes, you’re here to say
that for a little more pay
you’re happy to change your style
V2. And it doesn’t matterfor worse or for better
it’s dollars in the bank you say
Well you’ve packed all your bags
No champagne, streamers or flags
Yes you’re off to be a star and hey –
Chorus: You can get to Hollywood easyShow them what you’ve got
Even though it can be cheap and sleazy
I know that you are not
V3. Now you live up in the Hillswith fast cars and faster pills
Something to get you through each day
Red eyes and a bag of bones
But it’s just for the money you say, Hey – Chorus
© Kait King, 2016
Suddenly the world is
flat –
as I scan the horizon
of my life
I see the shadows
of my past
and the reality
of the present
And I see the light
of the future
With open arms and open
wide eyes
I welcome what is
to come – for
this is Life
The shape of my future
I know –
I have held it
in my soul
and now it lies in my hands
waiting…
© Kait King, 2016
You promise you’ll be home tonight
to kiss the kids and hold me tight
You tell me it won’t be the same
until it happens once again
You say I am the only one
and what’s been done can’t be undone
I stay quietly alone all through the day
watching our kids grow and play
and when the door opens later at night
they think you’re home, that they are all right
But bedtime comes and they can’t wait up
I am the ogre who’s taken their pup
Little do they know you don’t give a damn
Fathers’ like you shouldn’t be called men
© Kait King, 2015
When it seems to me
that this is the end
you just keep coming back
to me, my friend
I say that word with a smirk
on my face
I can’t just be friends
and your shit’s at my place
you’ll look at me with
your shiny eyes
pull my heartstrings
like a baby’s cries
And it won’t matter
‘cos it’s all lies
Too much Too late Too soon
© Kait King, 2015
In the neighbourhood
it’s not so good
people get hurt nearly every day
And even if you knew
who did it
you could never say
In the neighbourhood
it’s not so good
that’s where the body lay
Where his Mama cried
where others had died
And all the community could do
was pray
© Kait King, 2015
I promise you it’s true
a clean slate
a new year
I can do this if I want to
with a clean break
not get stuck here
I really have turned a page
a corner
to face this fear
I truly have changed
grown stronger
happier longer but
still hiding a tear
© Kait King, 2015
I’ve chosen not to wear my grief and despair
like shards of broken glass or snapped razor blades
on my less-than-me person
I’ve chosen not to hurt others although my pain has
an enormous capacity for imagination or
is that fantasist?
Dissociation, dissonance, disappointment –
I can use it to carve my poor heart a poorer shape
Should I?
I’ve chosen not to
This pain would hurt less
but I don’t need for others to feel
I would rather shelter and protect
Keep safe and trapped those imaginary
demons – who will come to hover like eye-poking
vultures in their scruffiness as I lie here
in the night
Keeping that evil, seeping, energy-sucking
succubus of hurt from me
Arms length – keeping strength
and land stretches towards me
the sand and sea – it pulls away
living is movement not breathing
and earth ties me to a life of dirt
Sunshine and lollipops –
a distraction
merely a time-waster
ball-breaker, man-hater, life-taker
I’ve chosen not to…
© Kait King, 2015
If Pain
was Music
it would be
a Shrieking Violin
The Shriek
that makes
your Ears
Close off
without putting
your Fingers in
© Kait King, 2016
I watch you grow in
the sunshine of my love
with raindrops of pure joy
you fall around me
endlessly
In the deepest, darkest shadows
You shine your brightest light
every day
every night
My baby boy
you turn my life around
Baby boy
you turn my life upside down
As the seconds with you turn into years
your fearless journey with
true innocence moves away
suddenly you’re a schoolboy
with a schoolbag
who won’t hold my hand anyway
My baby boy
you turn my life around
Beautiful boy
you turn life upside down
Strong enough to climb
the tallest tree
your big brown eyes smile down
your laughter falling like autumn
leaves
fall to cover me
© Kait King, 2015
With a chattering
anxiety
A rattle pill-filled
state
the brain-numbing
chemicals
change the look on
my face
That’s just on the
outside
inside it gets bad
Outside is just a
cosmetic push
Inside, you can’t change
sad
© Kait King, 2016
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
Then something fantastic
is happening here
Someone’s falling in love
someone finally cares
Now something sad
has taken place
She can’t even bear
to look at his face
So something shocking
has now occurred
She killed them both
Have you heard?
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
© Kait King, 2015
