While she’s trying harder
working it out
all her problems, hangups, pity and
self-doubt
And she tries too hard to achieve
because she’s lonely, angry,
she’s had no love to eat
And as far as this woman knows
it’s like a picture, no – a painting
or a movie, too slow
As far as this woman knows
it’s like fighting the fight
but not a fight that you chose
So she’s crying alone
no sleep at night
I wish I could find her
and tell her –
it will all be all right
© Kait King, 2015
Pre-Occupancy
So nobody’s home
Just cardboard cut-outs
posed in my brain
Memories I can’t let go
Pre-Occupancy
A way to survive
Somehow to numb
the pain
Somehow to stay
the child
Pre-Occupancy
Merely a distraction
Something to hide
any connection
Anything to avoid
taking action
Pre-Occupancy
© Kait King, 2017
I know
what’s happening
to me
He’s found
his way
in
making me think
in love story
lines
making butterflies
deep inside
me
and a sickness
I cannot recover
from
© Kait King, 2015
What’s the difference
when it’s all the same
we go down this road
and come back again
Forgiven you, I haven’t
when it’s caused me
all this pain
and if you try to find me
I’ll fall back into you
again
© Kait King, 2015
If you can
allow yourself
to love me baby
I’ll hold you,
rock you,
Love you through every night
If you’re not scared to
show me baby
I’ll do my very best
to make it
all right
But I feel you haven’t
let go baby
And it’s not really all
about me
You have to let your feelings
show baby
You have to love me
or let me
be free
© Kait King, 2015
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
Love won’t last forever
anchored only in lust
Kisses for kisses
I forgive you your past
it’s the only way through
If you want us to last
© Kait King, 2015
Jealousy
Please leave me
Let me walk free
from your grasp
Honesty
Please fill me
Set my words free
with that trust
Stupidity
Please abandon me
Let me hear twice but speak
with one voice
Integrity
Please empower me
Take over my mind and body
to make the right choice
©Kait King 2017
I’m quite happy being a Woman
I don’t want to be a Man
I don’t want to scratch my nuts
or take out the trash can
I don’t understand the confusion
about the Man and Woman sequel
Of course we are very Different
Different, but still very Equal
I am proud to be the Carer
The Fantastical Giver of Life
the gentle softness of
a safe place to fall
When you return from
a hard days’ fight
My Man, the strong Protector
The Bringer of that Life
who will be Honoured to care for me Truly
and with Pride
would call me his Wife
© Kait King, 2015
It’s like
an unsticky web
how things
fall into my
head
Nothing ever
really gets
filtered out
Thoughts are
thrown at me
in a shout
Yeah, it is
pretty clear
something’s going
on here
Each inky
black thought
casting
immeasurable doubt
It even surprises
me
with the words
that I spout
Who wrote
those things?
Evil awful
creepings
Friends ask
Where on Earth
did you find
this out?
Why would
you write such
horrid things?
It gives pause
for thought
and doubt
© Kait King, 2016
Pretty Girl
With a trail of heartbreak
Pretty Girl
Chances they all take
Pretty Girl
If not for their own sakes
what will it really take
Pretty Girl
Now
Lonely Girl
Why’d you give it all?
Lonely Girl
Was it far to fall?
Lonely Girl
Leaving hearts so small
If you have a heart at all
Oh Pretty Lonely Girl
© Kait King, 2015
Wild animal
– resonate in me
Violent Love
Tender Brutality
Snake, lion,
tiger or sheep
– Passionate,
almost Violent Love,
to: shy,
submissive,
meek
Only 50 shades of grey?
That is what I
want to say
– That Hollywood crap
you can keep…
© Kait King, 2017
She didn’t want to know,
y’know
She didn’t want
to see
Her man had been
behind her back
creepy
creep
creeping
Another in denial,
sat
She really couldn’t
believe
He really couldn’t
have done that
creepy
creep
creeping
Your heart
is not safe
it says
your children
are in danger
the man you thought
was ‘dad’ material
turns out to be
that stranger…
creepy
creep
creeping
© Kait King, 2016
Oh what to do
when someone
cheats on you
Oh what to say
that even though –
you want them to stay
And how do you choose
how you want to lose –
you know he knows
he’s won –
and he’s already started
and nowhere
near
done
© Kait King, 2016
I knew I loved this family
from the very start
It felt like I’d always been there
and we’d never been apart
With our delicious little secrets
and our family photo art
Boisterous family dinners
and cheeky, jeering remarks
Mum’s delicious orange chicken and
her cinnamon apple tart
I knew I loved this family
from the very start
© Kait King, 2016
I remember being only
knee-high to a grasshopper
and you would twirl me around
you let me stand on your feet
and danced with me
while I clutched at your
chino trousers or
the creases on your business suit
You never minded
we always danced
I remember pouring your drink
two fingers of Glen Morangie
two fingers being my index and little
but not really
I mixed that whiskey with two blocks of ice
and a dash of chilled water
I remember how you would savour it
in the South African sunlight
at the end of your day
I remember the love of words and animals
you gifted to us all
your funniness
and sense of justice
I remember you telling me
to eat my crusts
so that I would grow hair on my chest
and I did – eat them, not grow hairs on my chest…
I remember you used to type
business letters on my belly
and I was an old typewriter with a runner
and a “ding!”
which tickled the hell out of me
“Dear sir” you would type
I’m shrieking with delight
And the photo’s that I have
I remember you Dad
© Kait King, 2015
With love and dedication to my incredible father – the walking Encyclopaedia, the uncapped academic – I miss you, we all do xxx
Look at me
waffling on
happy as a bee
Look at me
skipping through life
thinking I’m free
Look at me
that wistful child
once so wild
and now independent
and grown
Look at me
with 3 under 3
and a house I don’t
even own
Look at me
shared weekends
if we’re lucky
And I know you’ve been
sucking
someone else’s cherry
lip gloss
Look at me
bitter days
long nights
spent watching crap TV
Never to be
free –
the very unhappy
divorcee
© Kait King, 2015
Inhale me
breathe me
full of love
in our
rustic orange
dreams
in a dusty rose
forgetfulness
and a place
of forgotten
feelings
touch my soul
keep me there
quiet
perfect
and whole
© Kait King, 2015
I watch you grow in
the sunshine of my love
with raindrops of pure joy
you fall around me
endlessly
In the deepest, darkest shadows
You shine your brightest light
every day
every night
My baby boy
you turn my life around
Baby boy
you turn my life upside down
As the seconds with you turn into years
your fearless journey with
true innocence moves away
suddenly you’re a schoolboy
with a schoolbag
who won’t hold my hand anyway
My baby boy
you turn my life around
Beautiful boy
you turn life upside down
Strong enough to climb
the tallest tree
your big brown eyes smile down
your laughter falling like autumn
leaves
fall to cover me
© Kait King, 2015
I’m screaming
your name
and it just drops
into
nowhere
© Kait King, 2015
So do you think it may annoy you
should I love you too much
That time would trap you
in a heartbeat
If I won’t give you up
Is it crazy to think
that you will only touch
my skin
stroke my hair
and let me in
Will it be overwhelming if I say
I love you every day
leave notes in your lunchbox
and always want you to stay
the night
the week
forever
Is it rude of me to want all of you
not a share, a percentage or a piece
but the everything and nothingness
of you
the very most
and
the very least
© Kait King, 2015
That’s the last thing you wore
that held your warm body close
It was the last thing before
your heart and pressure slowed
A cloth got to finally hold you
something I never got to do
People say that it was better that way
But I don’t know if that’s quite true
I hold your once sweaty t-shirt
drenched now with my own tears
and try to inhale what’s left of you
As it fades from all the years
© Kait King, 2015
What do you mean?
You don’t get it?
I’ve talked the hind leg
off a donkey
telling you why it is
what it is
and no
I don’t regret it
How can you say that?
How would you know?
I get pissed that
I’m not good enough
I won’t put my
assets on show
I watch you
watching yourself
under the radar
so low
Hiding who you
really are
and now I wish
I didn’t know
When did you do that?
Is it like someone I know?
There is no name, no face
No one to show
And I need a body
to bury
So I can let you go
© Kait King, 2015
You promise
you’ll be home tonight
to kiss the kids and
hold me tight
You tell me it won’t be
the same
until it happens
once again
You say I am
the only one
and what’s been done
can’t be undone
I stay quietly alone
all through the day
watching our kids
grow and play
and when the door opens
later at night
they think you’re home,
that they are all right
But bedtime comes
and they can’t wait up
I am the ogre who’s
taken their pup
Little do they know
you don’t give a damn
Fathers’ like you
shouldn’t be called men
© Kait King, 2015
Please don’t make me
feel stupid
for cherishing you
Don’t laugh
at my love
I don’t know what else
to do
Although I guess
it’s pretty clear
that I’m not the one
for you
© Kait King, 2015
If I win
I will have won this
fair and square
If I lose
I will have lost this
and won’t have to care
about you
or your new girlfriend
If I’m wrong
I will be cataclysmically incorrect
I will owe on every bet
and beg you to forget her
and her endless bank account
legs and youth
If you could just be brave
and tell the truth
But I see you squirming
awkward in your plush car seat
I can see the worm –
it’s turning
Now it’s with me
you cheat…
© Kait King, 2015
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
Then something fantastic
is happening here
Someone’s falling in love
someone finally cares
Now something sad
has taken place
She can’t even bear
to look at his face
So something shocking
has now occurred
She killed them both
Have you heard?
Something nefarious
is going on
Something deceitful
something quite wrong
© Kait King, 2015
I just wanted
to be happy
As baffling as
that may seem
I just wanted to
spread Kindness
Remove the idea
of being mean
I just wanted
to have Peace
As impossible as
that seems
but it’s ok, they say,
to always have dreams
There is no need to
“stand your ground”
It isn’t yours, for a start
It will still be here
When we’re not around
It’s much better to leave
a piece of your Heart
© Kait King, 2016
“You don’t need ice-cream to make an awesome Sunday…”
© Kait King, 2016
You will never
have power over me
You’ve taken everything
that you can see
but you will never
have power over me
You will never
have my mind
You’ve beaten me black
held me behind
But I promise, you will never
have my mind
You will never
have my soul
You tell me I’m ugly
stupid and old
But I swear, you will never
have my soul
© Kait King, 2016
What do we want
from each other
what do we hope
to discover?
Are you a friend…
or my lover?
© Kait King, 2015
You already know –
You know you’ve
known for ages
But just didn’t
want to look into
that ugly face
or go to that
ugly place
You knew months ago
when he was angry with you
when all you did
was be excited he was home
and he turned his back
and left you there alone
You already knew
when you could
smell the hint of perfumes
that you know you
don’t wear
Those whispered
phone calls
He doesn’t want you
to hear
You already know –
you know you’ve known
for ages
but just didn’t
want to look
into that ugly lying face
or go to that
ugly empty place
© Kait King, 2015

I don’t believe
you have nothing to say
that you don’t want to stand up
and shout
“don’t treat me that way”
I don’t believe
you can keep quiet
for very much longer
the hate in you grows stronger
even though you deny it
it kills you every day
I don’t believe
there is happiness in you
that you skip through every day
that your glasses are a rose-colored hue
that you are not reliant in almost every way
but that’s just not true
You drag yourself through every day
knowing that he will
punch you
humiliate you
control you
and you want to kill him
for killing you –
you try to think of another way
but nothing else will do
you have no money, no car or hope
this mean,
ugly-spirited human
says you can’t cope
in the real world
But you know that’s not true –
right?
© Kait King, 2015
Does it sting?
Can you feel
my hate
my anger
blistering at you?
Inflamed and furious
that not even the
Herculean strength of my own
sanity will tie it down
My bitterness seeps out
of my pores
leaving a trail of
achingly sad tearful
nights and aimless lonely
days
Does it sting?
Can you feel me
loathing you from afar?
My hate for you is so
giant – it has to be visible
surely you can feel this
surely you know I am hating you
betrayed by you, unforgiving
of you – surely….
What do you mean, he’s got another girlfriend?
© Kait King, 2015

When I wake up
next to you
My heart just
wants to burst
In my sleep
I miss you
Like a screaming
blazing thirst
I drag myself
to work and back
just to see your smile
watch TV
talk a little
and make love for a while
when our rumbling
hungry stomachs
lever us out of our lovers’ nook
naked, we open and close cupboards
looking for something to cook
© Kait King, 2015
Like a moth
dancing
tantalizing
directionless
you gaze at me
and slowly
coax me in
I know my wings
will burn to ashes
My heart
it bursts in fire
but even though
I’m burning
and the flames will swallow
me whole
my destiny
remains nameless
by choices
never made
© Kait King, 2015
I promise you it’s true
a clean slate
a new year
I can do this if I want to
with a clean break
not get stuck here
I really have turned a page
a corner
to face this fear
I truly have changed
grown stronger
happier longer but
still hiding a tear
© Kait King, 2015
This is not a Horror Movie
This is Real Life
Where a Mother kills her Child
or a Husband kills a Wife
© Kait King, 2016
What is there
to say?
I can’t force you
to stay
I don’t want you to
feel bad
So I try real hard not to
be sad
And I smile and wave to you
goodbye
As I turn, my smile slips and
I just cry
© Kait King, 2016
Break my heart, why don’t you
I know you didn’t choose to leave
I don’t see you anymore
and it’s hard to believe
you’re not here
with me
now
I can’t hear what you say
your words are in the way
I know what you really mean
It is me
that you
don’t want to be seen
with
Break my heart, why don’t you
you’ve not told me what I want to hear
You’ve spoken to me and for you
it’s crystal
clear
But I keep hanging on
hope makes you all mine
but somewhere in my lonely heart
I know you
will fade
in
time
© Kait King, 2016
In a bigamist dual
you fight in your cheating bed
Secret office glances
and secret bathroom head
At home it’s just too boring
you don’t want to fuck your wife
but if she finds out
It will ruin your life
© Kait King, 2015
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