And confusion rages
like a winter storm
pushing through my
veins and there’s nothing
I can think
Although there is plenty
I could do
But the storm is
blinding and vicious
And I’m thinking of
my life
Like between a rock
and a hard place
And no, I’m not trapped
I’m not unhappy…
with right now
As the ever-bleeding
heart I’m eased
into the terror of
the unknown
It’s not a bad dream
If it was I wouldn’t know if
I really want to wake up –
Does this just mean for me
that it’s time to face reality?
© Kait King, 2016
Destination
knuckle-bite-fright
warped, crippled twisted and blackened
my monsters will be set free
decrepit, decayed, barren of soul
sit here or there and all will see
Damaged, Dangerous, Dark and Fright
my monsters travel day or night
bad dreams,
bad thoughts,
dark, gnarled,
knuckle-bite-fright
not all is as it seems….
© Kait King, 2015
This Buzzy Little Feeling
There’s this buzzy
little feeling –
right in the center of me
And although my body is weighted
something in there
has zero gravity
Is that my Troubled Spirit
or could it be my Lonely Soul?
If I caste this bodily feeling
is it my Spirit that makes me
Whole?
© Kait King, 2016
I wish I could tell her
While she’s trying harder
working it out
all her problems, hangups, pity and
self-doubt
And she tries too hard to achieve
because she’s lonely, angry,
she’s had no love to eat
And as far as this woman knows
it’s like a picture, no – a painting
or a movie, too slow
As far as this woman knows
it’s like fighting the fight
but not a fight that you chose
So she’s crying alone
no sleep at night
I wish I could find her
and tell her –
it will all be all right
© Kait King, 2015
Rock Bottom
I hit rock bottom
I sat on that bottom rock
weeds and roots tethered me close
and not in a Lovers’ Lock
Catatonic in my despair
broken like a car crash victim
I clutched at straws and sucked in air
feeling like I needed Lithium
Overwhelmed by what I’m not
broken by what I was
fighting what it has to be
a fallen star, a lost cause, tell it as it is
that old me will never leave
it’s a part of what makes me
my body may have let me down
but when I write – I’m free
© Kait King, 2015
Lovers lock
Lovers locked
in this bittersweet
ride
Trapped in the momentum
a beat of the heart
Skipping through hope
not a care in the
world
Lovers locked close
just a boy
and a girl
© Kait King, 2015
Stuck!
My imagination
is my destination
~ my holiday abroad
My situation
is not my creation
~ but the pain won’t be ignored
© Kait King, 2015
Trust me
Meet me in the middle
and I’ll take you to the end
Tell me that you trust me
and I’ll let you be my friend
Promise me the world
and it’ll fall at your feet
Run the faster race
’cause it’s me you have to beat
Don’t believe in rumours
and they won’t control your life
Believe in what you want to be
and step into that light
© Kait King, 2015
Feeling like the Titanic
She’s listing
dangerously –
hair unwashed
no make-up on,
even the Captain
abandoned her
uninteresting,
over-weight and
needy
Stuck in the
iceberg solid
icy
cold
unwanted connection –
The dark will soon
be upon the wreck
alone
lonely
lost
© Kait King, 2016
When
“When you’re driven – you get places.”
© Kait King, 2015
My Joy
My joy
your face
My life
misplaced
My breath
filling space
Alive,
still
© Kait King, 2015
I let you go
I’m torn
my soul says
fly, my love
as high as you can
My heart begs
you to stay
as close as you can
to me
I’m torn
my mind says
you must grow
you must be
I let you go
I let you be
I let you be free
© Kait King, 2016
You’re Leaving…
What is there
to say?
I can’t force you
to stay
I don’t want you to
feel bad
So I try real hard not to
be sad
And I smile and wave to you
goodbye
As I turn my smile slips and
I just cry
© Kait King, 2016
I am a Winner
Everyone is so obsessed with winning at everything – work, sports, relationships – absolutely everything. I wonder if those people who are so focused on winning every argument, every game, every decision – have ever thought that they can let it go – like everybody’s a winner in the biggest race of all as far as I’m concerned. If you’ve been born then you have won the biggest race of all! You are a winner – the biggest winner out of millions of other sperm that were in a race for life – I am a winner – we won! Now let’s just succeed at being our own very best here instead of obsessing about being better than someone else’s best…
Stamina
My beautiful sister takes me swimming four days a week and last week I was called a machine in the water 🙂 This delighted me as I walk with a stick and struggle on land. I realized that all relationships take stamina – my relationship with my less than able body and even my relationship with water and swimming… just keep going…
The YouTube Monster Awakens ;)
My first reading -Please let me know what you think 🙂 Thanks!