I have a secret
I will never tell
‘cos I think it will send me
straight to burn in Hell
Not by some god or
our changing Universe
but simply by Earths’ humans
the Worlds’ damning curse
Judgemental, judging
limited in their view
I must be of some demon
if I don’t see it like they do
© Kait King, 2015
Andy has a problem
he doesn’t know what to do
there’s a monkey glued to his back
and it’s really chewing through
his heart,
his bank account,
his tired soul.
Andy has a problem
he doesn’t know how to say
that he doesn’t want to be here
not for another single day
of hurt,
of frustration,
in an angered mind.
Andy knows this problem
he knows what he should do
but it wraps him up and chokes him
and he can’t see his way through
another single day
with no way
to feel.
Andy can’t reach out for help
that would just mean pain
How can he reach out for help
when his hand is trapped
by shame
and addiction
and fear.
© Kait King, 2015

I was fortunate to have a relationship with my Dad. Back in the day, it was not expected for Fathers to have that much to do with the children. But I remember him playing typewriter on my tummy as I giggled hysterically. He just kept a stern face like he was really on a typewriter.
I also recall standing on his feet and clutching his trousers as we danced around the kitchen, or dining room or lounge. It was a precious time.
It was, for others, just the era and error of the day…
Kait King 2017
Crystal Meth
An addicts’ breath
Inhales a
smoky dream
In reality
You’re never free
Just a brains’
endless scream
Crystal Meth
Talk in depth
Required by any means
Close to death
That last crystal breath
It’s not as great as it seems
Crystal Meth
Families bereft
Bury a loved one, crying
Cold caress
This Crystal Meth
And our children
keep on dying
© Kait King, 2016
She gazes across
an icy panacea
The kestrel above
calls when he sees her
The sun, though present,
is fractionated
It’s warmth not worth
being appreciated
A tumble of Schnauzers
race to greet her
A ten out of ten
on the Cute-O-Meter
Gazing liquid eyes
desperate to be touched
It was nobodys’ wonder why
she loved them so much
Their little furry faces
had such a lot to say
She couldn’t imagine being
without them
every single day
Although things weren’t perfect
in a very imperfect life
And she would have no more children
and may never be a wife
But the beauty all around her
and the freedom that she loved
Was all that she had asked for
from the Universe above
© Kait King, 2015
What do we want
from each other
what do we hope
to discover?
Are you a friend…
or my lover?
© Kait King, 2015
You already know –
You know you’ve
known for ages
But just didn’t
want to look into
that ugly face
or go to that
ugly place
You knew months ago
when he was angry with you
when all you did
was be excited he was home
and he turned his back
and left you there alone
You already knew
when you could
smell the hint of perfumes
that you know you
don’t wear
Those whispered
phone calls
He doesn’t want you
to hear
You already know –
you know you’ve known
for ages
but just didn’t
want to look
into that ugly lying face
or go to that
ugly empty place
© Kait King, 2015

I don’t believe
you have nothing to say
that you don’t want to stand up
and shout
“don’t treat me that way”
I don’t believe
you can keep quiet
for very much longer
the hate in you grows stronger
even though you deny it
it kills you every day
I don’t believe
there is happiness in you
that you skip through every day
that your glasses are a rose-colored hue
that you are not reliant in almost every way
but that’s just not true
You drag yourself through every day
knowing that he will
punch you
humiliate you
control you
and you want to kill him
for killing you –
you try to think of another way
but nothing else will do
you have no money, no car or hope
this mean,
ugly-spirited human
says you can’t cope
in the real world
But you know that’s not true –
right?
© Kait King, 2015
And in dreamland
I traipse
with leaden feet
Frightened
of my reality
Awake
when I’m asleep
© Kait King, 2015
I don’t know if I
have a heart,
anymore
Because I have
built a brick wall
around myself
I don’t know if I
have a heart,
anymore
Because I have
a laugh that
can hide a
multitude
I don’t know if
I have a heart,
anymore
Because we need
to keep our wits
about us –
our sanity
close
at hand
Do I even need
this
broken heart, anymore
useless, in this
broken land
Kait King 01.01.2023
I lie in the quiet
of the solid dark
A fractured individual
with a many fragmented heart
I don’t regret the past
but I struggle to see ahead
Life seems to race by way too fast
just to wind up dead
I try to stay well afloat
But here, I’m not the strongest swimmer
Life has me tight around the throat
and has moulded a grateful sinner
© Kait King, 2015
Does it sting?
Can you feel
my hate
my anger
blistering at you?
Inflamed and furious
that not even the
Herculean strength of my own
sanity will tie it down
My bitterness seeps out
of my pores
leaving a trail of
achingly sad tearful
nights and aimless lonely
days
Does it sting?
Can you feel me
loathing you from afar?
My hate for you is so
giant – it has to be visible
surely you can feel this
surely you know I am hating you
betrayed by you, unforgiving
of you – surely….
What do you mean, he’s got another girlfriend?
© Kait King, 2015
The distance
between us
has run away
from me
Not even a little
puff of dust
did I get
to see
As the width,
the height,
the breadth,
the length –
Any kind of measure
you care
As it doesn’t
really matter
It only measures
the love
that’s not here
© Kait King, 2015
To a Child
Every time you leave, or I am leaving you, or stepping onto a plane or into a car, – basically every time we part, I wish the last words you hear from me to be: “I love you”. Because maybe one day they will be the last words you will hear from me and I want you to know how well you were loved, by me.
From a Mother
You’re bundled
into a car
you don’t know
where you are
You can hear the
indicator blinking
And it triggers your
panicky thinking
You try to count wildly
at something
Knowing ultimately
that this isn’t helping
trying to remember
the twists and bends
Wondering how on Earth
will this all end
© Kait King, 2015
This was written when I felt empty and numb, void of joy or gratitude…the height of my depression
I know
We’re all dying
But
I don’t really care
Personally I can’t
Wait
To get the fuck out of
Here
Kait King 2019
Pulled very
tight
in the dark
of a night
Wire & Skin
Razor or
barb
Put up
your guard
Wire & Skin
A killers’ tool
strings you up
not so cool
Wire & Skin
They find you
tied up there
in a place called
Nowhere
Wire & Skin
Wire cutters
are at hand
you fall free
where you land
Wire & Skin
Sullen faces
at the site
strangled with
wire
so tight
Wire & Skin
Kait King 2019
I saw a man dragging a puppy
that didn’t want to go
And everyone else in the street didn’t want to know
“Don’t get involved!” said a nervous Mr Hay
And he crossed over the street
to walk the other way!
I saw a brother pinch his little sister
on her tiny arm
How could anyone want to do
another body harm?
“Don’t get involved!” said a spiteful Miss Melissa
She won’t play with me at school
and is meaner than her sister
I saw a man shout
and push a woman to the ground
She bowed her head and was crying
but you couldn’t hear a sound
“Don’t get involved!” said a crabby Mrs Mend
And I wondered for over a month
if that poor woman had a friend
But now I’m older and I know better
I want to pass this message on
If there’s a body in need
you must always take heed
Because nobody wants to go through it
alone
© Kait King, 2015
Here comes
A virus
Here comes
A plague
Here comes
The UN
The WHO
Der Hague
Here comes
Mad Max
Here comes
The Stand
Chaotic
Pandemic
Just a question
Of when
And death:
Is it 1 in 2
Or 1 in 4?
Or 6 out of 10?
Or even…
More?
Here is
The second coming
See the
Novel mute
Silent
Violent
Sneaky death
A body
Down a chute
Listen…
Gloves are
Snapping on
Facemasks
In demand
No one knows
This chaos
The world is
Out of hand
Kait King 20/03/20
Where on Earth
can ou be?
If you’re not here on Earth
with me?
© Kait King, 2016
You know these feelings
Are here to stay
You know
They’ll never
Go away
No matter how tightly
You shut them away
No matter how long
You keep them at bay
Like a starving dog
You feed only
One time
That follows
You home
That stops all
Of the crying
You’re never alone
You forgive them
And love them
Second chances abound
Wouldn’t it be nice
To have you around?
Afford yourself
Those second chances
Cry and be forgiven
For if we haven’t
Made mistakes
We can’t be doing
Much living
Kait King 27th of June 2023
Sexy Siren
in
satin red
Your luxurious folds
fall over
my head
Touching me
with the sagaciousness of a
man’s hand,
you rest
on my hips
The swing and
the sway
move like gloss
covered lips
as I turn to walk away
A hand grabs me and
pulls me
to bed
© Kait King, 2016
Carve the edges off your haunting pain
With time as sharp as a knife
the moments slide by in an agonizing grind
You’ll have this moment for the rest of your life
My feet sunk deep in a cement grip of permanence
a ball and chain of grief connects my soul to the earth
My bones and skin just vehicle remnants
My soul will have rebirth
© Kait King, 2015
It’s not our children’s faults
That they were born…
Neither ours, to face
The Worldly dawn
But we are here now
As guides for our kids
Show them love, joy, inspiration
And do what parenting bids…
Kait King♡ March 20l8
Take 3 in
the morning
& 3 @ night
& 3 @ lunchtime
If you wanna feel right
I’m warned by the
doctor
to take another
3 @ night
Just don’t stop
taking them
No matter what you
do
take ’em till the
the very end…
I’m forced
to see
this through…
Kait King 2018
If I say that I don’t love you
will it make you stay
for another day
And if I pretend
that I really don’t care
would you want me more in the end
But the truth be told,
I cannot tell a lie
all of you just drives me
crazy
And for your love
I would surely die
Will you meet me there in the end?
© Kait King, 2015
I feel the sadness
in each new day
I see more of you
when less will stay
What can I say
to feel what you feel
for,
I live in a dream
I must face what is real
© Kait King, 2015
Are there many?
Or are there none?
Will I know
before I’m done?
Are they angry?
Mean and unkind?
Or gentle and understanding
with a heart much bigger
than mine?
If I don’t obey,
they tell
I’ll be going
straight to Hell
My god has not
that human spite
he’s not angry,
vengeful or
serial killer smite-like
And perhaps I am
uncertain
just a little unsure
But my god knows
that I believe
and I know there’s so much more…
Kait King 25/07/2018
There were just
too many
in this crazy crowd
Crushing in on
me
So I’m unable to
shout out loud
It was just
way too
noisy
in that clamouring
sweaty swarm
Body smells too
pungent
The air I breathe in
is warm
The darkness
has a dampness,
a claustrophobic clamp
The lighting bulbous
and hypnotic –
like a giant lava lamp
A pulse
united in
a passionate beat
And ignoring all
the warning signs,
I’m led by my dancing feet
© Kait King, 2016
She wasn’t afraid
but she was alone
the house was empty
nobody home
She didn’t get angry
she didn’t have to cry
she didn’t even question
that she’s alone at 5 and why
It’s hard to find a window
that opens kind of wide
even for a little person
to end up safe inside
So she huddles on the step
trying to keep warm
wishing, hoping someone comes
before all curtains are drawn
Now it starts to quietly rain
and it’s getting rather dark
So she starts to walk down the road
towards Alberta Park
We never knew what happened
to that little girl alone
I just know she’d still be here
if someone had been home…
© Kait King, 2015

When I wake up
next to you
My heart just
wants to burst
In my sleep
I miss you
Like a screaming
blazing thirst
I drag myself
to work and back
just to see your smile
watch TV
talk a little
and make love for a while
when our rumbling
hungry stomachs
lever us out of our lovers’ nook
naked, we open and close cupboards
looking for something to cook
© Kait King, 2015
I just want to clarify that without a doubt – no form of abuse or harm, whatsoever to any living thing, is alright by me. I spend most of my waking moments and my work towards protecting our kids and vulnerable populations like animals, the elderly and handicapped as well. That was my whole focus for completing my Criminology degree – to be an advocate and a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves. With my psyche background, curiosity and life experiences I am led to many thoughts. Some I didn’t even know I would contemplate before I started my journey into crime and the criminal mind (as it were :)) I myself, have an analytical mind and like to have answers to things until there are no more questions left to wonder! And so with this in mind, I wonder if a child molester/abuser is worse than a child killer? I think to myself at least the child is dead at the hands of the killer and not turned into the living dead by the pedophiles in the world? My beliefs allow me to believe that the spirit of the murdered child will get a chance to return to the world if that is what existence means, but like I say – the child left alive is trapped in a living hell of self-doubt and self-flagellation/torture and that’s after the abuse has ceased. Sexual molestation is usually a prolonged relationship – an ongoing grooming and manipulation in order to keep the secret and obtain what the predator wants. Sometimes this goes on for years and is often times familial, or someone known to the victim, creating more guilt and a necessity for secrecy due to shame and embarrassment. So which is worse? Either way the victim and their family suffers and never would or should anyone have to make a choice between the two, but I am curious as to others’ understanding of the actual offender. And I also believe that if we discuss things like this more, we will gain a greater understanding of the predator and how we keep our children safe… So back to my question whether the child molester is worse than the child killer? Or are they just as bad as each other because whichever way you cut it, the life of the victim is taken away – physically or life as they should know it – but gone for good so that nothing is ever the same.
Like a moth
dancing
tantalizing
directionless
you gaze at me
and slowly
coax me in
I know my wings
will burn to ashes
My heart
it bursts in fire
but even though
I’m burning
and the flames will swallow
me whole
my destiny
remains nameless
by choices
never made
© Kait King, 2015
Her internal organs
were completely shoved
out of place
You couldn’t tell
where her eyes were
on her once
normal face
Her mouth,
no teeth…
although alive,
she had only 2
Her fingernails
held DNA
Her bruises spoke
in black
and blue
There was no weapon,
no club
no knife
Just pure
Red Rage
Rage enough
to steal
a life
Her family
yes, she has one,
Will have to hear
the tragic
news
of how,
in her relationship,
she was violently
abused
The children
saw
their father
as she was
twisted
punched and
burnt
It’s said she
stayed for
the children
Now, a lesson
sadly learned
And putting to
“Rest” their
Mother’s bones
So they look ahead
“Stay positive”
“You’re not alone”
“At least you have
a roof over
your head”
and face life
in a
foster home
While wishing
they were
dead…
Kait King 2020
It’s the joker they see
But
they’re laughing at me
It won’t show
where it really hurts
on the inside
So you’re the
stand-up comic
But
the joke’s on me
It won’t make
any difference
‘cos what you say
is what they see
But
when the bell rings
and your playtime
is over
who will care
and help you mend?
And when I
need a friend
to stick
to the end
the last person
I’d look for
is you
© Kait King, 2015
You’re a good friend
I love what you do
when I come running
to you
You’re a true friend
One in a million
even though I can’t count
that far
I know I can count
on you
© Kait King, 2016
God left diamonds
in my garden today
Draped elegantly over tall
wild grasses
clinging in teardrop perfection
from the arch of an unfurling fern
God left diamonds
in my garden today
The sun pushing a rainbow
paradigm through this
sparkling rare
jewel of Nature
God left diamonds
in my garden today
Worn with a breathtaking beauty
a spider’s web is adorned
Dripping in dew-drop diamonds
A lavish gold in sunlight
Every color of
every gem in any brilliant spectrum
lies here at my feet
in the garden
the beauty around me
The Earth
She is my wealth –
God left diamonds
in my garden…
Kait King 2017
I promise you it’s true
a clean slate
a new year
I can do this if I want to
with a clean break
not get stuck here
I really have turned a page
a corner
to face this fear
I truly have changed
grown stronger
happier longer but
still hiding a tear
© Kait King, 2015
Too good to leave you
too bad to stay
when I think of life without you
I don’t want to end this way
Too hard to swallow
too much to bear
when I realise it’s all about you
and that you don’t really care
© Kait King, 2015
Everyone is so obsessed with winning at everything – work, sports, relationships – absolutely everything. I wonder if those people who are so focused on winning every argument, every game, every decision – have ever thought that they can let it go – like everybody’s a winner in the biggest race of all as far as I’m concerned. If you’ve been born then you have won the biggest race of all! You are a winner – the biggest winner out of millions of other sperm that were in a race for life – I am a winner – we won! Now let’s just succeed at being our own very best here instead of obsessing about being better than someone else’s best…
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