hate

In spite of

/ Kait King / 33 Comments



I don’t believe
you have nothing to say
that you don’t want to stand up
and shout
“don’t treat me that way”
I don’t believe
you can keep quiet
for very much longer
the hate in you grows stronger
even though you deny it
it kills you every day
I don’t believe
there is happiness in you
that you skip through every day
that your glasses are a rose-colored hue
that you are not reliant in almost every way
but that’s just not true
You drag yourself through every day
knowing that he will
punch you
humiliate you
control you
and you want to kill him
for killing you –
you try to think of another way
but nothing else will do
you have no money, no car or hope
this mean,
ugly-spirited human
says you can’t cope
in the real world
But you know that’s not true –
right?

© Kait King, 2015

Offender

/ Kait King / 7 Comments



Cemented down
Concrete furrows
on your brow
Icy stare
eyes of blue
Mouth a gash
of hatred, too

© Kait King, 2015

You’ll say to me

/ Kait King / 42 Comments


I’m uncomfortably present
awkwardly, I’m here
Cleverly, you’ve trapped me
by playing on my fear
I don’t want to say yes
but something in me is sparked
and if I don’t say yes
I won’t have a heart
you’ll say to me
You’ll say to me
I don’t really love you
that I’m not really into it
and my love is not true
And yet that twist inside me
coils like a snake
ready to make me feel bad
making me ready to hate
myself
© Kait King, 2015

To My Rapist

/ Kait King / 4 Comments

Would you know who I was if I stood in front of you?

Would you remember my name?

That I wasn’t even thirteen when you raped me?

When you shared me with your brother while I cried?

Do you remember panting into my ear that you would still leave me a virgin?

That no one would know?

Do you know that I’ve never forgotten you,

Your name,

Your face,

Your smell,

Your breath,

Your whisper….

This could read like a love story, yet all I felt from you was nothing.

Like I was nothing.

I meant nothing

I was worth nothing

To you.

Do you know I went home that day and tried to kill myself – and several times after that….

You would never know the harm you bestowed on me that day, you and your foolish, fumbling brother.

You don’t know how I’ve carried this around my whole life. I paid and kept paying while you and your brother languish in ignorant bliss.

You have no idea how many times the experience you gave me  has crept in and corrupted my life.

You have no idea that you forever changed me.

You single-handedly changed my life’s path.

You changed who I was supposed to be….

And I’ll never forgive you for that.

Kait King 14th March 2024