Would you know who I was if I stood in front of you?

Would you remember my name?

That I wasn’t even thirteen when you raped me?

When you shared me with your brother while I cried?

Do you remember panting into my ear that you would still leave me a virgin?

That no one would know?

Do you know that I’ve never forgotten you,

Your name,

Your face,

Your smell,

Your breath,

Your whisper….

This could read like a love story, yet all I felt from you was nothing.

Like I was nothing.

I meant nothing

I was worth nothing

To you.

Do you know I went home that day and tried to kill myself – and several times after that….

You would never know the harm you bestowed on me that day, you and your foolish, fumbling brother.

You don’t know how I’ve carried this around my whole life. I paid and kept paying while you and your brother languish in ignorant bliss.

You have no idea how many times the experience you gave me  has crept in and corrupted my life.

You have no idea that you forever changed me.

You single-handedly changed my life’s path.

You changed who I was supposed to be….

And I’ll never forgive you for that.

Kait King 14th March 2024