Why Restraining Orders are Useless…

restraint orders

Would it not be reasonable to think that an individual who ‘requires’ a restraining order, is the type of individual who would break a restraining order?

Kait King 2017

But I’ve already paid!

Already paid

With some leftover tea

I chuck some painkillers at me

A certain kind of guilt and

a definitive disgust wash over me

I fight every day

to keep a smile on my face

being strong, overcome

I have a new life to embrace

I know this is not what

I signed up for

I’ve paid the full price

for so much more

But I guess some you win

and some you lose

So I experience my life

in a different pair of shoes

But I’m still so sure

I was destined for so much more

so much more

I’ve already paid for

© Kait King, 2015

If you thought…

If you thought

If you thought

you knew him

he could be read

like a book

Seeing is believing, baby

turn the page –

take a look

If you thought

you loved him

and he’d do anything

for you

check out his phone

he’s not at home

and now love,

you know what’s true

If you look at him

and think

to yourself

He’s not what

they see

Look a little

closer girl

the truth in him

will tease

And if he’s truly

for you

know beyond

a doubt

and if he isn’t

girlfriend

best you get

the fuck out

© Kait King, 2015

Something or Something Else but never Everything

something and something else never everything

I’ve often wondered why just about everything we discuss has to be blah blah blah OR blah blah blah… Why can’t it be both? Why is it not possible that these things are symbiotic? Co-morbid? Dual catalysts? I listen to people discuss the big question of how we got here. The options, in this conversation, may I be so polite, are:

  1. We are created by God
  2. We are from an alien planet and arrived on a rock from outer space
  3. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution

Okay, so everybody’s got a point and nobody has the answer so there is some validity of possibility in each perspective. Especially if you consider the human to be made up of physical, mental and spiritual capacities and needs, which I do. And in this debate there is even more than two sides to contemplate. So each individual has solid, understandable reasons – well within reason, and are glued to the ground on what those reasons are and why. The discussion becomes what people like to call “heated”. I, totally unlike my robust debatable self, still did not get involved. I could hear the rising of offensiveness from each party as the others poo-poo’ed each others perspectives and theories. It wasn’t going to end well, nobody likes to be poo-poo’ed.

After the hoo-ha and everyone had left, my man and I plonked ourselves in front of the television, grateful for the calm noise and not the hysterical noise. Everyone would get over it but it was always the same with the topic of how we got here, not just with people I knew, but many will argue these points to the enth degree, with really, no real evidence to be honest.

So for me, I decided that being only human, I really knew sweet F.A and to tie it up nicely in my head, I just gather all of that info and think that maybe we were created by some super entity as a 3rd rock, as a planet within a universe. But that was all, then one of the stars in that universe, with life in it, crashed into this 3rd rock and was the prime delight to allow things to flourish and grow, and so it did. And things did evolve and become this amazing exotic world we are fortunate enough to live on now.

Why can’t everyone be right? They can be right somewhere in a time continuum of the human development and creation. They just all need to put their stories together. But like I say, nobody has the answers, and maybe we don’t even find out a bloody thing when we die and still know jack-shit (a good friend of mine)…

The other thing people tend to do this with is my favorite topic – serial killers. For some inane reason we have to ask whether it is nature OR nurture….it’s both for dog’s sake. If you could take a serial killer as a baby and nurture him in a certain way you will either bring out or highlight the best or the worst of that character. What I think we need to realize is that this is a possibility for every child as again, everybody has the capacity to kill, it just depends on how that is brought out in you. For some people, all that has to happen for them to pull out a gun and kill someone, is an insult outside of a bar. For others (myself included) I would have to be in a situation where my life or the life of someone was threatened and they were being hurt. Then I become the killer. We all sit somewhere on that continuum and depending on how we are treated is how we will react. But at the end of the day, intention, mens rea, is everything. So for me it is both, not one or the other in this instance too. I’ve been finding out in my life that things are not always black and white. Human beings are complex, emotional beings with such a variety of combinations of everything that it is impossible to label or put people in boxes. It just doesn’t work like that.

But I must stop rambling now – I have so much I could scribble about – but I will not bore you with my ranting and raving. I put my soapbox away…;) thanks for reading though, if you got through it!

Last thought in a Playground

playground thought

She’s beating the

crap out of me

I want to be

retaliatory

But I can’t find a gap

to even try

and hit back

She kicks me in

my side

Everyone there wants to see

me cry

I can hear their

jeering calls

of magnified echoes

charging through halls

This strange metamorphosis

in sound

is my ticket off

the gravelly ground

And I can see myself

lying there

The group of bystanders

shout and cheer

My body, I see

crumpled like

a sack

And I never even got a chance

to throw a punch back

© Kait King, 2015

Your Old Sweaty Shirt

sweaty tshirt

That’s the last thing you wore

that held your warm body close

It was the last thing before

your heart and pressure slowed

A cloth got to finally hold you

something I never got to do

People say that it was better that way

But I don’t know if that’s quite true

I hold your once sweaty t-shirt

drenched now with my own tears

and try to inhale what’s left of you

As it fades from all the years

© Kait King, 2015

Is it

Is it

So do you think it may annoy you

should I love you too much

That time would trap you in a heartbeat

If I won’t give you up

Is it crazy to think

that you will only touch my skin

stroke my hair

and let me in

Will it be overwhelming if I say

I love you every day

leave notes in your lunchbox

and always want you to stay

the night

the week

forever

Is it rude of me to want all of you

not a share, a percentage or a piece

but the everything and nothingness

of you

the very most and the very least

© Kait King, 2015

Cataclysmically Incorrect

Cataclysmically incorrectjpg

If I win

I will have won this

fair and square

If I lose

I will have lost this

and won’t have to care

about you

or your new girlfriend

If I’m wrong

I will be cataclysmically incorrect

I will owe on every bet

and beg you to forget her

and her endless bank account

legs and youth

If you could just be brave

and tell the truth

But I see you squirming

awkward in your plush car seat

I can see the worm –

it’s turning

Now it’s with me

you cheat…

© Kait King, 2015

I buried you, I hope you don’t mind

I buried you

What do you mean?

You don’t get it?

I’ve talked the hind leg

off a donkey

telling you why it is

what it is

and no

I don’t regret it

How can you say that?

How would you know?

I get pissed that

I’m not good enough

I won’t put my

assets on show

I watch you

watching yourself

under the radar

so low

Hiding who you

really are

and now I wish

I didn’t know

When did you do that?

Is it like, someone I know?

There is no name, no face

No one to show

And I need a body

to bury

So I can let you go

© Kait King, 2015

Too much Too late Too soon

too soon,late

When it seems to me

that this is the end

you just keep coming back

to me, my friend

I say that word with a smirk

on my face

I can’t just be friends

and your shit’s at my place

you’ll look at me with

your shiny eyes

pull my heartstrings

like a baby’s cries

And it won’t matter

‘cos it’s all lies

Too much Too late Too soon

© Kait King, 2015

Being the Ogre

being the_Ogre

You promise

you’ll be home tonight

to kiss the kids and

hold me tight

You tell me it won’t be

the same

until it happens

once again

You say I am

the only one

and what’s been done

can’t be undone

I stay quietly alone

all through the day

watching our kids

grow and play

and when the door opens

later at night

they think you’re home,

that they are all right

But bedtime comes

and they can’t wait up

I am the ogre who’s

taken their pup

Little do they know

you don’t give a damn

Fathers’ like you

shouldn’t be called men

© Kait King, 2015

Boy

Boy (Jay)

I watch you grow in

the sunshine of my love

with raindrops of pure joy

you fall around me

endlessly

In the deepest, darkest shadows

You shine your brightest light

every day

every night

My baby boy

you turn my life around

Baby boy

you turn my life upside down

As the seconds with you turn into years

your fearless journey with

true innocence moves away

suddenly you’re a schoolboy

with a schoolbag

who won’t hold my hand anyway

My baby boy

you turn my life around

Beautiful boy

you turn life upside down

Strong enough to climb

the tallest tree

your big brown eyes smile down

your laughter falling like autumn

leaves

fall to cover me

© Kait King, 2015