When it’s time – it’s time

When it's time it's time

I’m not looking for somebody else

I just want to see you

I completed your lie detector test

and everything I say is true

There is no rhyme or reason

to why we feel this way

but this won’t be successful

with all the games you play

I really want to believe you

but I think I’ve been a fool

I just want to keep silent –

with you

I’ll lose my cool

So I cry quietly

in my pillow in the night

Knowing things are ending

Knowing things aren’t right

Knowing that no matter what

you don’t love me the same

I’ll be the one at night

alone, I’ll cry your name

© Kait King, 2015

Advertisements

You’ll say to me

You say to me

I’m uncomfortably present

awkwardly I’m here

Cleverly you’ve trapped me

by playing on my fear

I don’t want to say yes

but something in me is sparked

and if I don’t say yes

I won’t have a heart

you’ll say to me

***

You’ll say to me

I don’t really love you

that I’m not really into it

and my love is not true

And yet that twist inside me

coils like a snake

ready to make me feel bad

making me ready to hate

myself

© Kait King, 2015

It gets murky…

Jay in suit

It’s not that I’ve forgotten you, sweet angel of mine, it’s that I just lost myself for a little while. You’ve been there so strong and true. Your arms swallow me safely and I’m grateful, so grateful for you. I couldn’t even see your pain because I couldn’t see through mine – the deep dark cloud of despair. I know it’s not forever, but at the moment, a day is a lifetime

For Jay, my nine year old son (at the time) who had to live with me being there, but not there, for nearly five years. I remember just about nothing of that period of time due to the heavy medication I was on. In the photo above he’s twenty 🙂