The question of why I exist…

I guess the question of why would be relative to one’s beliefs, perception and world view. If the answer to the question is different due to this, then there are different results with each answer. Some might believe the why was: because they deserved it or God wanted it that way or human suffering is pay back or whatever other beliefs people have about the reasons why they want out. Do they exist to be beaten, maligned and controlled? Do they exist just to suffer? To be targets for predators of Child Abuse, rape and murder? We know all of the good things… Sometimes they get covered up in the bad. I think more than anything, people who want to die, ask themselves, the Universe and all gods “why am I here? For what purpose must I hurt beyond my control? Beyond what I can bear…”

But I’m still here, still bearing when I thought I needed to escape the unbearable. Was I a fool to hang around waiting to die or should I take the quick option and kill myself? Was that cheating? Not knowing is what keeps me waiting. Does that mean that those who do take their lives have absolute faith? Absolute knowledge? Or are they just in absolute Hell? Are they absolutely past caring? Perhaps there is no right or wrong answer…or maybe no answer at all. Perhaps we just exist to exist. We live we die – rinse and repeat…

Anyway, Any way

Anyway Any way

I so wish

I could have

been a better mum

But he still loves me

anyway

I see the photo

next to me

Colors blue and grey

you and I

Not much to spend

but time

and he still loves me

anyway

I feel I may have

failed you in

too many ways

to count

In spite of that

you are a beautiful

soul

and you still love me,

anyway

Kait King 16/7/2018

 

 

 

If you thought…

If you thought

If you thought

you knew him

he could be read

like a book

Seeing is believing, baby

turn the page –

take a look

If you thought

you loved him

and he’d do anything

for you

check out his phone

he’s not at home

and now love,

you know what’s true

If you look at him

and think

to yourself

He’s not what

they see

Look a little

closer girl

the truth in him

will tease

And if he’s truly

for you

know beyond

a doubt

and if he isn’t

girlfriend

best you get

the fuck out

© Kait King, 2015

Look at me…

Vintage mod rock

Look at me

waffling on

happy as a bee

Look at me

skipping through life

thinking I’m free

Look at me

that wistful child

once so wild

and now independent

and grown

Look at me

with 3 under 3

and a house I don’t

even own

Look at me

shared weekends

if we’re lucky

And I know you’ve been

sucking

someone else’s cherry

lip gloss

Look at me

bitter days

long nights

spent watching crap TV

Never to be

free –

the very unhappy

divorcee

© Kait King, 2015

Urban Dismay

urban-dismay

The city streets

look oh so sleek

but only when

it rains

Below the glitterati

Porsche

Benz

Maserati

In the parking basement

remain

Below even that

expensive, unreal mat

broken people

who never

have gain

No cash in the casino

No boat in the marina

And no money

to hide

their pain

© Kait King, 2016

Freedom Fighter

You won’t take away

my Freedom

You won’t take away

my Voice

You won’t tear me away

from my Family

And you won’t dare take away

my Choice

You won’t ostracize

my Family, no

Or stop me from seeing

my Friends

We’ve all had enough

of this shit and

this is where it

ENDS

Kait King

24th October 2021

Another Opportunity

opportunity

Yes love,

that’s exactly

what you do

Dust yourself off

once you’ve

pulled yourself up

and sing

dance

stand tall

Honey if you

think about it

it’s not the first time

and be sure

it will not be the last

You know the rights

from the wrongs

Don’t ever let them change

your song

With a Nelson Mandelian

grace

and a dignity dug

from the deep

You will triumph

and in a cloud of

dust, like a rolling

Pig Pen

You flagrantly walk

your walk into

another opportunity

© Kait King, 2016

Lyrics to Something and Nothing

something and nothing

There’s nothing like a tall glass of water

Nothing like a clear day

Nothing like your lovemaking

Like the dream I have when I always get my way

Something like the way you love me

Something like a summer day

Something like the way I crave you

Something always seems to get in the way

Ch: You do – something crazy to my heart and to my mind x 3

Verse 2

Nothing like the way you hold me when

It’s a cold rainy night

It’s nothing like the way you scare me

I wanna run – don’t wanna fight

It’s nothing like the way you tell me

That you love me when you want me

And I want you too

It’s nothing like the way you tell me

That you need me when you want me

And I just wanna be with you

Ch: You do – something crazy to my heart and to my mind x 3

Verse 3

It’s nothing like the way you find me

When I need you so bad

Something like the way you see me

Put a smile on my face

When I’m feelin’ sad

Nothing like the way I know you

When you don’t want me to see you, but I can see right through

Something like when we’re together

Something that feels so very true

Ch: Cos you do – something crazy to my heart and to my mind x 3

© Kait King, 2015

Sword of Damacles

Sword of Damacles

When you’re hanging by a thread

and the voices in your head

say “just let go”

When you feel torn and down

you try to take a look around

but find

you’re blind

And the time is running out

and you know what it’s about

you can feel that hanging rope

that blade against your throat

and you lean on in….

© Kait King, 2015